


A Quiet Place AU / ATEEZ (Post-apocalyptic)

by San_station



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: A Quiet Place, ATEEZ (Band) Are Pirates, Alternative Universe - A Quiet Place, Angst, Based on a movie;, Blood, Death, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Monsters, Movie Adaptation, Post-Apocalypse, Silence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:01:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22746703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/San_station/pseuds/San_station
Summary: In a world full of silence and dangerous creatures seeking for blood, a group of friends have to survive for their own good and find the safe place they’ve heard about months ago.
Relationships: Choi San/Original Female Character(s), Choi San/Reader, Choi San/You, Kang Yeosang/Reader, Kim Hongjoong/Reader, Park Seonghwa/Reader
Kudos: 30





	1. Watch your steps

**Author's Note:**

> •This story is entirely fictional. The universe written is an adaptation of John Krasinski’s movie A Quiet Place, some terms or actions may or may not be included in the film.•
> 
> WARNING: The followed story contains deceptions of violence, explicit wounds, mention of blood, death, depression. If you are easily disturbed, please, stop reading for you own good.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a world full of silence and dangerous creatures seeking for blood, a group of friends have to survive for their own good and find the safe place they’ve heard about months ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •This story is entirely fictional. The universe written is an adaptation of John Krasinski’s movie A Quiet Place, some terms or actions may or may not be included in the film.•
> 
> WARNING: The followed story contains deceptions of violence, explicit wounds, mention of blood, death, depression. If you are easily disturbed, please, stop reading for your own good.

We had to rush, except none of us moved, our feet glued to the cement as if it was still fresh. We knew we had to run but again, none of us could assimilate it. The sound that lasted a millisecond wasn’t even the loudest, however,  _ they _ could hear the smallest chirp of cricket in the deepest forest, the purring of a cat under a lot of sheets, or the yawn of a baby before going to bed as silent as the wind blowing slowly… No matter if we were on the top of the skyscraper, _ they _ always heard. 

It hit my shocked face when the growls started. I was tired, thirsty, my legs hurt and I hadn’t eaten proper food in forever; who would’ve thought that a fucking pile of beer bottles hidden behind the door of a small birdhouse located on one of the rooftop’s corners could ruined three months of surviving the craziest era humanity ever lived. Once the bottles stopped rolling through the wooden floor, my lungs felt fire due to the air I retained, my hands started to shake inside my coat... and it hit me again. _We need to fucking run,_ was the only thing on my mind, but I was not being the reasonable person I was, common sense was off the place and so were my hopes.   
Since I was a child, I thought heights were the scariest thing in the world. The moment I stepped into the rooftop I was already hyperventilating, but it couldn’t compare to the feeling of being chased by those bloodthirsty creatures, and I knew I wasn’t the only one thinking about that, of course. The two people with me had the same expression on their faces. Seonghwa, the guy on my right, tall, blue eyes, body shaped, black hair and paternal instinct, looked at me with wide eyes; he quickly put a hand over my mouth and shook his head violently, words couldn’t be exchanged at that moment, not when we were that close to be slaughtered, but his eyes could tell everything. _Don’t scream_. 

In front of us was Misuk, a small and chubby girl with a fearsome attitude who happened to be the other only girl that was stuck with us. She had short blonde hair and the most amusing personality ever (at least for me). She was the one that opened the door nonchalant trying to find birdseed... Oh, I can tell she was really mad at herself; Misuk was the one telling us to be more careful every step we made (even though we knew), and she always put sand or wet dirt on the places where there was none to prevent any of us from stepping on false.  _ Oh, Misuk… _

My body began to feel numb and the cold wind wasn’t helping either. Seonghwa’s black hair danced with the breeze along with his clothes, he was wearing a long beige sheep coat that Yunho had made two months ago, skinny black jeans with ripped knees, sneakers too dirty to remember their original color because of the lack of water and a sharp knife on his leather black belt. The handle of it had his initials, “P.S”, engraved in silver with lovely handwriting. Misuk had her natural outfit when we had to go scavenging for supplies, a pair of worn blue jeans, old black Converses, a brown t-shirt with the logo of NASA, and a big black jean jacket with some alien patches. Funny, she loved those things before they arrived, after realizing that she actually liked the little friendly green buddies like E.T instead of the monsters that came to Earth. Well, after a while she found another affinity: collecting some alien fragments from their dead bodies for her own pleasure. 

Misuk was a weird kid, but everyone liked her in their own way. I, for example, used to have some discussions about provisions or night shifts with her ‘cause of her lack of leadership and consciousness; I always preferred order, and everything had to be calculated, at least in this madness. But she was a free spirit, she never listened when Seonghwa or Hongjoong made a statement about her, she never cleaned when it was her turn, she sometimes laughed way too loud on our soundproof room and got all of us shhhing her,… but you gotta stick together in this if you want to survive.

Thirty minutes ago we were on the crusade to find more supplies for the rest of the group, it was the calm day #438 after the attack, creatures with hypersensitive hearing showed up on Earth after a meteor shower impacted in December of 2020. We headed through the city once the sunrise illuminated the area. Seonghwa, Misuk, and I were the assigned crew for the task of recollecting provisions for, at least, two long months. Well,  _ we _ assigned ourselves because we’d been in those walls for like forever. San was pissed about it, but we didn’t care… now I think it was not a good idea after all. 

“Jiyeong,” Misuk called me with sign language when she stopped walking in the middle of the deserted road that connected our place with the city ruins we were heading to. Misuk’s hands followed a sequence while moving her lips simultaneously, “we should split to find more rations by ourselves, right?”, she shifted her bag from one shoulder to another and gave me a bright smile.

I hesitated. The last time we split up, we never found Jin, he was Misuk's brother and a friend to all of us. Hongjoong still blamed himself for allowing that option for starters. 

“I think it’s better for the three of us to stay together…”, Seonghwa signed with his hands covered by brown leather gloves thanks to the cold air that surrounded most of the city in late February. We both nodded in agreement, not before Misuk rolled her eyes at him and kept walking over the scattered sand that created a path of silence down our bare feet.

The city was an hour left on foot, people obviously forgot about the cars after the sound of the engine roaring was too loud and mortal for all of us. Step by step we got closer and the city buildings rose before us; sometimes (more than we needed) we found other individuals on the streets doing the same we’d been doing for months: surviving. On good days, we found families or old friends walking silently and moving on from their houses to others. On bad days -not my favorite ones to be honest- there were suicidal types of people that transformed the atmosphere compl etely just to put everyone around in danger. It wasn’t funny running or hiding for your life when  _ you _ did nothing for them to come for you… I disgusted those kinds of people that believed they could choose who lives and who dies. Moreover, there were days when nothing happened, like almost these three months that we stayed underground with enough supplies in our soundproof room that allowed us to speak when we needed them most, we just went  outside to find more provisions or walk and watch the sunset; but nothing lasts forever, supplies were almost running out and we had to finally get more.

The rooftop we ended up praying for our lives was our last searching point. Misuk wanted the bird seeds so much that she insisted on going all by herself after two long hours. She said we were slowing her down **,** however you couldn’t be alone out there. Not when  _ they _ could hear you anytime.

I could hear my thumping heart on my ears; the growling became louder, closer, and the unpleasant feeling in my stomach gave me nauseous. Seonghwa stared at Misuk now; she had a deadpan face and decided to close the birdhouse slowly with her right hand while her left hand rested on her mouth to prevent her from letting out a gasp. I shook my head.  _ Just leave it like that! _ , I wanted to scream at her. But when the beer bottles rolled again and collided with a seed bag inside the little house, it felt dry on the floor with the most horrendous echoing sound. I swallowed hard, my head hurt and the shrill shout that came from the rooftop door activated all my senses. My brain proceeded to watch everything in front of me as if it was on slow-motion.

One creature broke the door with a clean slam, a second one followed its entrance. Their knife-hands cut the metal with perfect precision and distant howls filled the place when one of them jumped higher than a human being could ever do. My shaky breath was held by Seonghwa’s hands when I stepped back, my fingers reached his own and I squeezed them as tight as I could against my mouth. Misuk turned around as fast as she could when the hand of one creature slammed into her stomach within seconds, the deafening sound of her ribs breaking made the tears instantly fall down from my cheeks to Seonghwa’s gloves, she gasped. The sore flesh was vividly cut and her eyes, wide and green, looked to the sky while her body jerked on the floor with a thump. The enormous hollow in the center of her belly straight away scattered overflowing blood all over the floor, and the rest of her body rested on the cement, still, she found a way to turn her head into our direction and gave us a sad smile. Red drops were now on our clothes and faces, some of her large intestine and lungs were being eaten by both creatures making grumbling noises. It looked like they were having a Thanksgiving meal and we were probably the desert.

One of the creatures pulled up its head and the sides of it were wide open as we saw the sound sensors vibrating, trying to reach for more victims nearby. Seonghwa and I could only watch the scene petrified. A tiny groan left Misuk’s throat with her last breath and I gasped in silence while my soaked eyes blurred part of the view, the ripping sounds of bones and flesh continued and I felt Seonghwa’s chest shake a little on my back, but he kept his head high aware of the beasts in front of us. I don’t know if he closed his eyes, I just know we stood there still watching our friend die and hoping we wouldn’t be next.

(…)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After a long time, it's edited and proofread!


	2. Between the present and the past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a world full of silence and dangerous creatures seeking for blood, a group of friends have to survive for their own good and find the safe place they’ve heard about months ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is entirely fictional. The universe written is an adaptation of John Krasinski’s movie A Quiet Place, some terms or actions may or may not be included in the film. 
> 
> WARNING: The followed story contains descriptions of violence, explicit wounds, mention of blood, death, depression. If you are easily disturbed, please, stop reading for you own good.

Two hours had passed when Seonghwa and I were walking towards the house, he was carrying two well-filled backpacks on his shoulders while I had mine on my back and a bag full of seeds. I sipped a little of water from a bottle we collected after the incident, tossed it to the man next to me, and left out a deep breath while thousands of thoughts traveled through my mind..., yeah, I was tired and hating the shitty situation, but we had to stay away from those feelings that could easily overpower us. 

I remember closing my eyes so hard that I could see little white dots resembling stars, my eyelids felt heavy, my head was pounding so freaking much that I believed my dizziness would retain us for a while. Hopefully, I was stronger than I thought, yet I’d rather seen black than witness a bloody feast incapable of moving out of there. It created an obnoxious feeling in my soul and I knew things would get worse after Misuk’s death, I just could feel it.

My hands were still shaking inside my black coat, they were covered by dry blood and dirt; my eyes hurt, they were swollen due to my muted whimpers all the way home. The thing that made my insides ache the most was the fact that I couldn’t properly cry, if I whined, a sharp limb of those monsters would get through my body in a blink. I got a shiver down my spine for just thinking about it. The creatures were blind and unbelievably interminable, and after all, they almost exterminated the human race.

The first attack happened in West Virginia, the meteor shower was supposed to be the most wonderful view in two hundred and fifty years, or so was said by NASA. But they guessed wrong, I supposed. I was in my last class in college, I used to study modern arts, specifically oriental painting. I loved how the finest lines gracefully connected with the watercolors could create the most wonderful pieces and honored the traditional techniques forgotten over the past years and the inventions of new methodologies. However, I had other subjects besides painting, like modern dance on Friday and sculpture on Monday and Wednesday. Meanwhile, painting was my first and number one topic and I probably could have bragged about it, but it's not the time, right? 

It was a Friday night when  _ they _ showed up. My dance group, four more girls and eleven boys, was leaving the room after a long practice for the Moon Festival presentation. A part of the group was talking about some hard moves they had to clean up before the big day, others were about to go to a pizza shop and get wasted, and I was talking with my best friend Haerin about her new job in the admission office. She applied for a scholarship, but first, she needed to work for five months there to prepare the curriculum. When I finished packing my towel and bottle of water, I was about to ask her if she wanted to grab a cup of coffee or something, although I found it strange when the phones around me started to beep in unison. 

Kihwang, the oldest member of the group, a sunkissed and blonde guy with a perfect smile, looked from his phone to us, watching everybody's face in shock. He had the door fully open for us to get out of there and close the practice room. After a few perplexed blinks, he spoke.

“I think we need to go to our families as soon as possible, guys…”, his voice sounded almost like a whisper.

“Why?”, Misuk asked with a frown next to her brother Jin, who had an arm wrapped around her shoulders. He was tall, absurdly handsome with his black hair and that grin on his face as if he owned the place. He knew most of the girls in the dance class had a crush on him, after all, he never dated anyone, he didn't have the time... 

“Something's off… the news are odd. They’re talking about the meteor shower but…”, he got interrupted by running footsteps outside. People coming and going started to confuse us even more. I frowned and looked at my phone screen.  _ “Mom”  _ appeared on it, glowing while it vibrated in despair, I knew I had to pick up, but my hands were frozen and I was incapable of realizing what was going on. I just looked at Kihwang's perplexed face and sighed. 

“C’mon man, people are probably talking about how beautiful it is and we’re wasting our time here”, Lucas, a tall and tan guy said before grabbing his backpack and throwing it on his wide shoulders. He was with the group of pizza and drinks, ready to lose control and have a great night. 

And so, it happened. From the dance room’s window, the dark sky illuminated itself with a few falling stars in front of our eyes, they looked beautifully esoteric, a new and wonderful view that captivated us all. However, those were not stars or meteors; when they collided into the city’s ground, the dark sky illuminated itself now with some flares of red and orange as if the bright sun wanted to make an act of presence once again with waves of explosive warmth. Screams resonated through the air and we knew what was the most important thing at that moment:  _ get the fuck out of there _ . 

Our families needed us, we needed to find out what the hell was going on but in a safe way. And so, fourteen of us rushed as fast as we could out of the college structure. Nonetheless, we were face to face with those strange and savage monsters that moved with the wind and attacked faster than a blink. The blind creatures, called by the loud noises as we figured out the eleventh day of the incident, managed to corner us in one of the city’s churches with hundreds of others trying to get to their houses or finding shelter. I never was a religious person, but I begged to anything that was outside of this world to not let us die, yet if we survived, we could all make it together and get to our relatives, at least without Kihwang, who died for us to give us a chance to escape, he  _ ordered it. _ So, we stayed almost two days after the arrival, the church was pretty comfy and all that jazz, but the reality was that we needed food, water, clean clothes, and yet we needed to know anything about our loved ones… 

Twelve of us snickered each other’s houses on the fifth day, we didn’t want to split at any cost, besides the two girls that wanted to stay safe in the religious architecture, no one protested. When we reached my house on the twelfth day, a part of me had died along with my murdered family, I couldn’t cry either because I was too afraid of getting the monsters’ attention. I think I’ve never cried out loud since that day… The place walls were pictures of Picasso with my parents' blood, my little sister's body rested aside from them with deep cuts and three holes in her chest, and I could only find my big brother's arm on the couch, nothing more. 

I blame myself for not being there, it was stupid, perhaps I think it was a way to forget that I was all by myself now and I should’ve died with them because it seemed wrong, being the only one left behind on that catastrophe was wrong, I should've died with all the innocent people that suffered the consequences of a terrible causality, I should’ve died with my family, my friends, with Haerin… 

“Thanks, Ji”, Seonghwa placed the bottle of water in my backpack's pocket and motioned me in gratitude. The gesture got me out of my disturbed thoughts, I shook my head clearing a little the blur that kept me isolated from the world and realized we were near the small building that was our house for the past months. The structure of the place was simple, old-fashioned, weak, deteriorated, the green color was already turning to a filthy gray and a big part of it had been damaged over the years. However we liked it, it felt like a real home, it felt safe.

The metal front door had two long golden-ish padlocks that prevented any stranger from getting in. I opened my coat feeling Seonghwa’s gaze burning in my back, inside the fabric were two hidden pockets on each side, one had the key to the building, the other one had my most precious belonging, a ring. I inserted the key in both padlocks meticulously and let us in. Seonghwa was the first one to enter, he placed down the three heavy backpacks full of the supplies we got, we were lucky that the creatures didn’t tear up Misuk’s bag; it was a selfish and cynic thought, but we needed everything we came across to subsist. As soon as we were indoors, I closed the entry without a sound, carried one of the backpacks on the ground along with the seed bags, and started to walk. Seonghwa’s steps followed my path all the way through the main floor until we got to a stairway that led us, for like it seemed fifteen minutes, to the basement door. We never talked about what happened to Misuk on our way there, I didn’t want to and he respected our space, although we both knew we couldn’t keep it to ourselves for much longer.

Fingertips touched my left shoulder a couple of times when we arrived at the last step, I turned to face the man behind me. 

“Everything’s gonna be okay, Jiyeong”, he muttered signing with his hands. Then, he hesitated for a second and grabbed my chin between his thumb and index caressing the skin. “Don't worry about them, they'll understand that it was an unfortunate situation and we couldn't do anything to save her…”, he whispered, our noses barely touching, and I flinched at the sudden sound of his soft and deep voice. The silence of the outside world always had a big contrast from the noisy building, we were in a bubble of meditation and, at the same time, frustration. On the other hand, the building was the alter ego or the whole world, a place full of life and comfort. 

I swallowed hard, my throat was itching harshly for the scream repressed in my lungs. The walls were rough but I preferred to talk inside the soundproof room, so that scream would be unspoked for a while now, joining the ones hiding from all those horrendous months of struggle. 

My eyes scanned Seonghwa's faces, his blue eyes had concerned drawn in them with dark and deep eyebags, the corners of his lips were slightly up, giving me a sad and small smile. He kissed my forehead with his soft lips, it was a paternal gesture. He let me go and opened the door carefully before him. 

Four heads turned to our direction, a blonde mullet was the first thing on my sight when the door closed behind us, it was soundproofed by a material that Yunho had found together with Jongho a few months ago plus some mattresses on the walls, so when Wooyoung screamed a loud “ _ HI _ ”, we all knew that sound would be just for our ears.  _ Sadly… _

“You're full!”, Hongjoong said happily, taking away my backpack, he walked to the spot that was our kitchen and left the bag on a big wooden table. We had the building's basement for the ten of us, the rooms were in the back separated by thin walls already built when we arrived, Jongho and Jin divided us in pairs before Jin's death. And because I was the only woman from the dance class that stood with the group, aside from Misuk, we had to share bedrooms. It wasn't amusing at the beginning but we got used to each other.

“What took you so long, Hwa?”, Wooyoung asked. He had blonde hair and he wasn't very tall, but he was fit and had this freaking laugh and a very sharp voice that made my ears bleed every time he got excited in the practice room; his eyes were light brown, sometimes it changed to deep green, you just had to look very closely to figure that. “I thought you'd be here at four, but it's almost seven pm…”, he frowned looking at my swollen eyes. Before he could say anything with his concerned eyes, Seonghwa gave him a bag. 

“Help me, please. This is heavy.” 

Hongjoong, the mullet guy, was now unpacking supplies in the kitchen. He was saying something about his new idea: paint a help sign in front of the building for people to see it and rescue us. Or maybe we can help others as well. He was the smallest of the guys in the room, however, he was one of the smartest people I’d ever met. His bright smile made you feel warm inside, made you forget about the bad things around you, and, of course, it made you smile. He was the one who made the right decisions there, although he stopped thinking about it the day Jin died.

I walked across the living room where Yeosang was seated on the soft sofa writing on his diary as calm as always. He was usually quiet because he was shy, introverted, and kinda small, but he spoke with the truth, no matter how cruel it was. Yet he was someone to talk too 'cause you knew he would listen to everything and would never judge you (well, he usually did) and would give you some advice. His body was covered by a long red fluffy blanket, he seemed so cozy… He looked up at me and gave me a little smile, I barely returned it and kept walking until I got to the kitchen's fridge. The guy next to Yeosang, San, kept his eyes on me the second we walked in, I ignored him proudly. 

I opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of carrot juice that Seonghwa prepared that morning, it made me feel better and I needed it in hopes to make me feel less guilty for a second. Not only we've witnessed the brutal death of a friend, we stood there and had to focus on not being killed, I still could hear the wrecking of Misuk’s bones with every bite they had, the sound of their chewing with her flesh embedded in their sharp teeth that seemed to end in their throat. But I will never forget the smell of her lifeless and bloody body slowly decomposing with every second that passed... 

_ Fuck _ . I swallowed hard and tried to calm my shaky hands.

Jongho, the youngest among us, whirled around the place when he appeared from the room he shared with Mingi, a boy with a deep voice and a huge heart who played goofy with Yunho, the tallest and cutest of the group, he was compared to puppies all the time due to his smiley face. Jongho was fit, really, he had wide shoulders, strong arms, and legs; also, he was like a manly baby who liked to play around. The mentioned boy caressed my hair abruptly and said a little “hi, Ji” the second he passed me by, he then grabbed an apple from the kitchen table and scanned the room, his smile fading slowly. He frowned and I wasn't ready for his obvious question. 

“Where's Misuk?”, I freeze. All eyes were now looking through the room, then at us with the question mark drawn on their face. The silence filled the walls and I wished they couldn't hear my heartbeat rushing that fast; even though I was used to it on the outside world, the quietness was still overwhelming when the basement was actually full of voices talking here and there. 

San, the boy who kept silent all that time next to Yeosang got up and crossed his arms over his chest. His dark hair fell over his green eyes but I knew he was looking at my filthy clothes. Seonghwa and I shared a quick gaze before I tore apart. 

“Are you hurt?”, his soft baritone voice didn't match his personality. He used to be a tough guy with a powerful and unique presence. The moment we were on stage when we had our presentations, he became madness, a glorious god moving so freely and beautifully that hurt my eyes, a demon possessing the boy’s body just to show the world who was the one and only Choi San. No to mention that he was fucking intimidating when he stared at you directly into your eyes. 

I shook my head in denying. Physically I was perfect, mentally I wanted to cry all night long. I walked through the room, passed San, and sat beside Yeosang, who stared at me blankly and straightened up on his seat. 

“Ji…”, he whispered softly, I could say that I was the only one who heard him.

“Misuk was always so careless”, San began with a snort. I lowered my head.  _ Not right now, please... _

“It doesn't surprise me, to be honest”, he continued, now staring at Seonghwa who had his back to him, Hongjoong was silently trying to figure out what to do with his hands, put the can on the table or throw it to San.

The two tallest boys of all walked to the place from their bedrooms with a sleepy face. Mingi went to the fridge and grabbed some carrot juice. Yunho smiled when he knew we’ve returned, but happiness banished as soon as he heard San speaking. “Who was the one who told you two not to go? Oh, yeah, me.” He pointed at the blonde boy next to Jongho, the first one looked awkwardly sad, the younger one just stared at San deadpan. “It was Wooyoung and Jongho’s turn to go for the supplies… But no, the little girls wanted to pick up on an adventure.” Hongjoong then faced the brown and curled haired boy and shook his head to him. 

“Now here you are, Jiyeong. Is that the beast's blood or hers?” 

I felt a lump in my throat, I had nauseous but I knew something for real: I wanted to punch him so hard that the creatures could hear him scream. 

“It’s funny, you know?”, San let out a dry laugh. “I actually told Yunho something was going to happen, didn't I tell ya, bro?”, Yunho opened his mouth to speak, but Jongho interrupted.

“San, stop” 

“Why?”, San seemed to be offended. I raised my head to face him and he somehow tensed when our eyes met. Maybe because I was silently crying and he felt pity.

“You’re making her uncomfortable… all of us, actually”, Hongjoong said, his smile was gone by now. San huffed, he made his way far from us and walked to the room that was one of the two bathrooms we had. 

“Better her than you”, Yeosang murmured after a few seconds of weird silence and all eyes were on him now with noticeable surprise. 

“Don’t tell me you’re on his side…”, Seonghwa was dumbfounded. 

“I don’t do sides'', Yeosang closed his diary. “By all means, we all liked Misuk '', he stood up, tossed the blanket on the couch, and walked towards the oldest guy in the room, Seonghwa, “but she was an annoying girl who preferred following her own rules. And, to be honest, she certainly put us in danger more times than I can count”, he glanced at Hongjoong for a bit then at me, “so, yeah… I’m sort of glad that it was her and not Jiyeong or Seonghwa hyung.”

Seonghwa blinked and approached me by the sofa, he let go a sight and stroked my hair. 

“Well, it was gonna happen eventually, right?” now was Wooyoung the one surprising everyone else. “I guess yeah, poor girl, but I think it's for the best, she was loud as fuck…” 

I barely could take it. The oozing in my ears got me out of reality and I was bringing back the images of the floor, the burgundy liquid splattered on my clothes. How could it be possible they were talking so freely about a traumatic event that just happened four hours ago.  _ Misuk, I’m so sorry, you didn’t deserve dying like that… so brutally…  _

“You are loud as fuck too, man”, San showed up again carrying two wet brown towels. He tossed one to Seonghwa, who slightly caught it, and handed the other one to me. “Don’t be so damn quiet, Ji. It’s not your fault and we all are happy none of you were eaten up by the creatures. It’s a win for all and we still can go around and keep looking for the-”

“Can you please shut up?!”, I spatted, my anger made my voice wreak a little bit, I was feeling the need to tear him apart and locked myself inside my room, Misuk’s room, where all her stuff rested there waiting for her to come back. I stood up. “You weren't there! You don't even know what happened..., so shut the fuck up, San!”, I took a couple of steps in front of him and pointed at his chest with my index finger. “You are as annoying as her, you go by your own rules, dontcha? And both of you...”, I pointed at Wooyoung and Yeosang, “should be ashamed for thinking about her like that. Fuck you all. You weren’t there when she decided to go for the seed birds by herself, you weren’t there when I, specifically, tell her to open the door of the birdhouse because she wanted to be more helpful”, my throat was now in so much pain due to my raspy crying voice that almost broke there in front of them. I hated it, I hated not being capable to maintain my voice stabilized, less… weaker. “You weren’t there when she smiled at us while she was dying…”, I whispered. “She was smiling, guys, and we couldn’t make a move or else we… Ugh… We...”, I couldn’t keep going, my voice finally broke, the anger consumed me and my mind only projected, while talking, the horrendous scene we witnessed. Nobody talked for a minute, but for me, it seemed an hour. 

“Jeez…, really… Fuck you”. I grabbed the bottle of carrot juice from Mingi's hands and stepped away from the boys. I opened the basement door and left for an airing, meanwhile, the eight boys seemed to be taken by surprise.

“So… did Misuk die?”, Mingi broke the silence whilst rubbing his sleepy eyes. 

  
  
  
  


(...)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, proofread!


	3. Rollercoaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a world full of silence and dangerous creatures seeking for blood, a group of friends have to survive for their own good and find the safe place they’ve heard about months ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Quiet Place Part II is gonna be on theaters on March 20... AND I'M GOING TO DIE FROM HAPPINESS AAAAAAAAA.
> 
> This chapter is one of the short ones soooo, enjoy! ;D

The fourth floor of the old damaged building was my place, my comfort zone, the only moment where I could be entirely alone with my thoughts, my feelings, my sorrows, and my draws. The four gray aged and dingy walls were covered by my creations on every blank space that once was painted with cute bird patterns. Five months ago, when we found the place, I was depressed. My parents' death followed me everywhere, so much that nothing mattered to me anymore. The twelve of us traveled afoot for over six days to finally reach the end of the forest we were hiding for, at least, the past month. The tan and shaped boy, Lucas, got lost a whole fucking day in the woods when he decided he wanted to pee because was too shy to do it near us.  _ Fucking kid…  _ We’d split into two groups of four and the three left had to stay in the encounter spot. Misuk, Jongho, and Yunho stayed while we silently looked for any sign of the cinnamon-colored boy. I'm not gonna lie, my heart ached when Lucas got missing, he was one of the amusing boys that kept us underground and kinda happy. While he was wandering around looking for a perfect spot, he’d felt in a huge hole of human bones and was too afraid to give us any signal (not that he could scream either). He had scratched his knees and hands and was afraid of any infection so, the moment he saw us, tears decorated his great looking face while Mingi and Wooyoung helped him climb the slippery ground. 

“I swear I’ll never pee again”, he signed, shaking his head and moving forward to the encounter spot for water to clean the minor injuries. After that, we found ourselves in a half-destroyed city, the place was literally torn in two ‘cause the government thought bombs would do their purpose and annihilate everything in their paths. Wrong. Thousands of people had died in the incident and just a little amount of the monsters. But eventually, everyone mad about it died or had better things to do, like, survive for example. We couldn’t find a sustainable home over there, so we kept walking a mile away from the city until we realized this old and abandoned building with its eight floors and its amazing basement.

My fingers moved away from the smooth side of the wall, the green splash coated the black under it to mix the colors and picture a beautiful pickup as finished work. I’ve been painting a whole zoo in the room for my own pleasure. And because most animals were extinct by then; if you saw a bird, a rat, or a raccoon, they would probably be slaughtered a minute later due to the sounds they made by instinct... The paints were a gift Seonghwa and Mingi gave me to help my depression. It kinda worked, it was the right time to be oblivious. I smiled watching the glorious bird, for obvious reasons (lack of paints) I only could draw it in green, black, and yellow, but that didn’t make it less wonderful. The problem with my comfort zone was that I didn’t want anyone near it for two good reasons: number one, it was  _ my _ spot, they all knew I was usually painting and shit, and for that, concentration is the motto. Number two, half of the animals I drew had a straight thin red line underneath their mouths to remember those species were forever gone. 

My hands were covered in green and black from tip to my wrist but I didn't care when I cleaned my sweaty forehead staining all half of my face in the process. 

Hongjoong suddenly walked into the room slowly with two cups of whatever that was, he and Seonghwa were the only ones allowed to come inside because they wanted to assure if I was okay with my panic attacks. I wasn’t even paying attention to him, I was focused on that animal and his grace… it needed the final detail, so I crunched and grabbed the red paint on the floor next to the few lefts I had. I opened it, cleaned my middle right finger with my little painted towel specifically used for that, and then I let my finger separate the head off of the bird’s body. I sighed and stepped back to admire the result. However, without any warning my back collided with Hongjoong’s body and I held a scream facing him, as a reflection, I almost threw a punch to his face. My wide eyes saw the mullet boy grabbing the cups hardly while he smiled at me in surprise. 

“I like it”, he whispered motioning to the bird with one of his occupied hands. As fast as I could, I covered his mouth with my green-black hands.

“No talk, you know we are not safe here”, I signed. Soon after, he extended a cup to me and pointed to an empty place to sit on the floor. He turned around, sat on the cold and all dusty cement, and patted next to him. I contained my giggles when I saw his face all covered in paint. 

“Sorry”, I signed pointing at his lips. He glared at himself not finding the cause of my amusement. He then touched his face and looked at his painted fingers. He smiled. 

“Don't worry about it, Ji, now come and sit next to me”, he insisted. 

My feet followed the order and I was now next to him sharing a cup of green tea. I hated tea, he knew I hated it, so why…? 

Hongjoong leaned over me until I felt his warm breath in my ears. 

“Taste it, it's for the nerves.”

I sighed, I was afraid of being caught if he kept talking, so I gestured him to shut the fuck up one more time or I'll end him. He lifted his hands in defeat. 

My lips tasted the hot water with essence and immediately I was ready to spill it out, Hongjoong was faster and begged me with his puppy eyes to drink it all for my own health. That man was manipulative as fuck, so there I was, finishing my disgusted tea with tears in my eyes. 

Two almost imperceptible knocks on the door made us both jerked from our sits, Jongho's smooth whisper alarmed us. 

“May I come in?” 

I slapped my face listening to the young one. Panic was taking over me for like two seconds, but the mullet boy answered putting a hand on my shoulder and looking at the door.

“Wait a minute...” he said as quiet as he could.

Jongho sighed loudly and Hongjoong gave me a judging narrowed eyebrow, he brushed the hair out of my face and cleaned a little of the paint rubbing my forehead with the thumb.

“Ji…”, he started. 

“No fucking way”, I shook my head in denial. “You know he can't, Joong… No one”, I signed abruptly and grabbed the cup off the floor. The next thing Jongho saw was the mullet boy grabbing his arm friendly, escorting him downstairs. I followed behind after closing the door carefully. 

“I just wanted to talk to you, Jiyeong'', he turned to face me and I could tell he looked… sad. It'd been a while since we saw the light-brown haired boy so gloomy about something. He stopped going down on the second floor and yanked his arm from Hongjoong's grip a little bit stronger than he should. “I want to know  _ how _ she died, Ji… I just…”, he raised a hand and scratched the back of his neck. “I don't know, ma-maybe we can go to the same spot and collect whatever is left of her and maybe make a good funeral… I… I don't know, guys… she deserves it.”

I sighed, the walls around us started to feel like they were closing, reaching each other for one gold: suffocate us, but that’s how I actually felt. If only they knew how hard it was for me to stop thinking about what happened, they’d stop asking questions I didn’t want to answer.

“Jongho… there's no way we can do that”, my whisper sounded harsh, still that wasn't the feeling I wanted to transmit, my heart shrinked from sadness. “The place will be plagued with the odor, her scents...", I stood in the first floor now, Jongho gave me the most concerned face I've ever seen before. I felt like the villain of the story, yet I was being realistic. "The creatures will be around it, Jongho, we can’t risk our lives.” Jongho’s hands turned into fists, I ignored them. I knew his blood was probably boiling in his body but, could you blame him? He was receiving cold water on his face while sleeping.  _ Wake up, Jongho,…  _

“The moment you step on that rooftop, you'll be gone, we don't need that”, I really wanted to make his dream come true but if it meant losing him, or anyone else, it didn't worth it.  _ At all.  _

“We certainly didn't need Misuk's death either”, he spatted a little loud for my pleasure, my body immediately froze, Hongjoong was next to me after giving the final steps to the main floor. The minor left walking down the hallway to the basement as we heard the footsteps disappear. I rubbed my temples roughly and sighted. 

“Ugh, I didn't mean to sound like that…”, I mumbled after the basement door clicked closed. 

“I know…”, Hongjoong caressed my back with two pats and passed me, “He knows it too, but let him be mad for a second, it’s a kid."

“I didn't know…”, I signed, talking outside was getting me more and more anxious.

“Yeah, they had a thing, not too serious though”, we made our way to the basement again. “But at the end of the world, we all need to be loved.” 

I left out a scoff. 

_ Oh my God… of course…  _

“Surviving is all we need, Joong.”

“Humanity needs survivors, Jiyeong '', the mullet boy opened the door silently and we entered. “How do you think we can do that if we don't love other people and create families''. Yeosang’s head raised from the kitchen at the sound of Joong’s voice, he had a full plate of cooked fish ready to be eaten. Now he was listening to our conversation while washing his hands on the sink. 

“Stop right there, ugh…”, I sat on the couch beside Mingi, the boy was counting how many plastic bottles will be needed for dinner. I caressed his hair and he smiled, still focusing on the bottles.

“Our priority is to survive, not create new human life in this dystopia, you crazy man.”

“I'm not joking”, Hongjoong made his way towards the fridge and had a sip of carrot juice. “Eventually you'll have to find a family too.” He smirked and walked to the other side of the room, where the beds were. My heart ached with the memories of my beloved family.

“I have one already.”

“I'm not talking about us”, he disappeared in his room. A soft _ “Sup’?” _ was all I heard before a refreshing Seonghwa made an act of presence after he got out of the room with his hair barely wet.

“He’s not wrong, to be honest”, the black-haired man smiled while he joined Yeosang and helped him with the green bowl made of leaves that contained eggs and potato salad. 

“You want a new family, Ji?!”, Mingi opened wide his eyes, getting out of his trance, he was surprised and kind of scared.  _ Oh, sweet big boy… _

“No, Mingi, Hongjoong and I were talking about preserving the human race on Earth even though we might all get killed for that”, I said, shrugging and not giving it too much care.

“You’re thinking about having a baby right now?! With Joong?!”, Mingi asked incredulously loudly. I breathed and stood up. 

I felt Yeosang’s gazed and I looked at him, I wanted to smile at his shook face, but then I remembered he was a fucking cinist. 

“I’m all sweaty and dirty, I’m gonna wash and then catch y’all on the roof”. I heard Seonghwa’s soft laugh after I closed the ladies’ bathroom door and sighed. 

“Why does Hongjoong have to be the one? It’s not fair” Mingi asked again. The sound of footsteps resonated in the place.

“Shut up, Mingi, they aren’t serious about that”, Yeosang’s voice sounded a bit mad and tired, but he spoke again, more gentle. “Let’s go with the others, she’ll be there soon and this is the first night without Misuk, so Jongho needs us.”

_ So everyone knew about Misuk and Jongho except for me? What a shitty friend you are, Jiyeong…  _

(...)


	4. Zoom out at the end of the world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a world full of silence and dangerous creatures seeking for blood, a group of friends has to survive for their own good and find the safe place they’ve heard about months ago.
> 
> WARNING: The followed story contains descriptions of violence, explicit wounds, mention of blood, death, depression. If you are easily disturbed, please, stop reading for your own good. 
> 
> Note: This story is entirely fictional. The universe written is an adaptation of John Krasinski’s movie A Quiet Place, some terms or actions may or may not be included in the film.

The most beautiful dark blue sky above us resembled a surrealistic painting with all the stars gathering in their own shiny and sparkly sea. When most of the lights of the world shut down, the light of the dying stars made us all company illuminating the obscure path in our struggle, they were our faithful guide through the days we survived in the vast woods, shimmering and testifying death, cries and love. It was sort of romantic if you could forget half of the human race was gone and you could actually concentrate on finding some love life.  _ But it was not the fucking moment, Joong. _ The night terrified me, it was, in the first place, the one that brought destruction on Earth with that wonderful meteor shower more than a year ago. 

I ran a hand down my washed face, my elbows were resting on the roof cornice and I was just admiring the incredible and mysterious view before me. I felt refreshed, with no blood spots printed on my clothes or skin, but at the same time my guilt flowed through my veins spreading pain all over my pores, they were actually screaming "it's your fault!" every ten seconds, and deep down I knew it was. 

Jongho and Wooyoung sat on the wooden table from the basement where we had dinner five minutes ago, every couple of weeks we had dinner on the rooftop of the building, so we moved the table easily and soundlessly and ate like everything in the world was okay, just that it wasn’t. The place was decorated with some Christmas lights on the iron poles that created a false ceiling with vines, the outdoors made a familiar mood, we had an indoor garden in college and I used to stay there with Haerin after practices to meditate. A pile of wood was in the middle of the floor keeping the place heated with a huge bonfire for the nine of us. A blast of wind made my dark hair dance a crazy and esoteric choreography on my shoulders while I took a deep breath. 

_ So… quiet…  _

If we were outside, we’d need to talk through sign language to protect us from the monsters, Jin and Misuk taught us when they found a book for learning them in one of the places we stayed a long time ago. Quietness was a realistic manner to talk since there was no other way faster. Yeah, we could write something but it was useless in a live or die situation. We dominated sign language after three months of hard work in the woods, communicating will always be the only way to understand each other fluently, so on the rooftop, it was a must. The only sound around was made by the fire flares.

A whole warm palm rested on my left shoulder, I jerked upright in surprise and veered to face Yeosang’s eyes. My eyebrows knitted as I was already stepping aside. Yunho’s legs swung above the building’s cornice as he counted the stars in his mind, from time to time he grimaced. Hongjoong was at the other corner of the rooftop next to San, they were talking in signs about today’s argument but I looked away, not wanting to think about it anymore. Yeosang was starting to move his hands.

“I haven't been thinking straight lately, to be honest…” he began slowly. My deadpan expression stiffed him and started again. His brown eyes pierced mine with sadness and guilt, I can't lie if I said it wasn't killing me inside. 

“Jin, I just want to apologize, ok? Give me a moment...” I stared at him for a few seconds, I scanned his face and took a mental picture of his features. He was freaking handsome, and I never realized it, not even when there were a lot of people crushing on him in college. Perhaps Yeosang was the little man with an ice heart that took the whole Misuk’s death deal as a misogynist, or it could be just me being such a bitch for taking care a little about our murdered friend as a personal thing, but it actually was a personal thing. Not only for me, for all of us. 

_ Well, maybe not all of us. _

“Misuk was a good friend and I know we’re all gonna miss her, but life goes on, don’t you think?” he added with a final little smile, he was begging, I could feel it. 

“You’re not making it any better,” I signed and glanced at Seonghwa going over Wooyoung and Jongho to thank them for the food. Wooyoung winked at him and signed some kind of joke I couldn't catch.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what you want me to say…” He lowered his head and I left out a sigh. The anger faded away from me, Yeosang was a good man, I knew that, he was also intelligent and reasonable, so he was right. After our death, the world will keep going, so is everybody’s life. The pain will remain for those who had a strong bond, but life goes on and on, we managed to do it after all as our normal lives vanished progressively in front of our eyes. 

My right hand reached Yeosang’s jaw and made him look up with wide scared eyes. 

“Don’t worry, Yeo…” I gave him a little smile while my hands moved, “life goes on, right? Just don’t be so careless when I die” then, I patted his shoulder and turned again to my main position, maybe I would see a shooting star and wish for all of us to wake up from this nightmare. Yeosang opened his mouth astonished and articulated “shit” while he walked away and sat next to a happy and full Mingi and a smiley Yunho on the cornice. Although they wanted to cheer us all with their cute smiles and jokes, deep down they were suffering as much as we exteriorized that and it broke my heart to see the masks they had to wear, not because they needed to, but for us to not worry more than we already were. 

After five minutes, we decided to go back to the basement. Seonghwa offered himself to clean the mess, like he always did. He liked things neat the way he wanted so no one opposed. 

In the basement, the air was thicker with San staring at me as he wanted to strangle me. His green eyes felt like shots that crossed every inch of my skin. As for the rest, Mingi was trying to make Yeosang sing a lullaby to sleep, Yunho was drinking with Jongho some beers and taking care of the little one as he cried about Misuk's death on the couch. Hongjoong and I were resting in one of the basement’s corners, the one that had our names engraved in the wood wall. 

San’s eyes narrowed sharply when we made eye contact for the tenth time that night, and I, immediately, looked away. However, I could feel his gaze, judging every move I made ready to shout or modulate the words “I told you so”. The words never came. He just looked at me from his place, seated among the fire to embrace the warm flares of the little chimney inside the basement. Wooyoung came out of the bathroom, ran one hand through his parted blonde hair, and sat between the mullet boy and me. 

"Yo, guys, I recommend you to use the other bathroom at least for tonight… I wouldn't enter that place, is a nightmare", he whispered dramatically shaking. I scrunch my nose as Hongjoong giggled. Wooyoung wrapped his arms around me and I melted into it. I needed comfort and he always cared about giving it to the people around.

“Little Jiyeong, give me a smile”, he crooned in my ear and the hair in the back of my neck jerked. I shook my head. 

“I’m not in the mood, Woo, but thanks for worrying”, my fingers touched his strong arms around me, I squeezed them for a bit after Wooyoung let me go. 

“You know… It’s kinda tough the way you close yourself so much that even Hongjoong can’t pass through the walls'', he murmured. Hongjoong sighed and my body tensed as I looked away. It wasn't on purpose, if I felt like it, I would get into that shell, build a wall between everyone and everything, and would just stay there for a whole month if I needed to. Life wasn't fair because now I wasn't even allowed to zoom out at the end of the world,  _ fuck this. _

Wooyoung tilted his head against the wall full of scratches created by the sharp point of the Swiss Army knife that Hongjoong had since we met. Hongjoong and Wooyoung started a conversation where I wasn't invited, or maybe I was, but my mind was in another place.

Suddenly, Yeosang approached our spot and looked deep into my eyes, his features seemed so tired and sharp it could cut me if I stared too much longer. He extended his hand to me, he had venous hands that used to play the guitar when we took a break from dance practices. I liked them, they were pretty captivating. 

I reached Yeosang’s hand and stood up with his help. From the corner of my eyes I could see how San stood up as well and walked next to us as Yeosang approached us to the room they shared. When we got inside the comfy and warm room, San closed the door and Yeosang told me to sit on his bed. I turned to see one mattress with light green sheets and a plushie on it besides the black sheet mattress next to the bathroom wall, so I rested on the corner of the light one and grabbed the plushie between my hands. Yeosang gave a quick and alarmed gaze to San, who only stood there with arms crossed over his chest and an annoyed face.

Yeosang started to speak softly. 

“I don’t want to talk about the elephant in the room, but we almost got killed twice because of him and his impulsive ways of getting Misuk’s attention…”, I bite my tongue to stop myself from interrupting him right away.

"And we think Jongho has to be inside for at least a month if we don't want him to go after what he thinks is left of Misuk's body", Yeosang continued after a soft sigh. My hands squeezed the plushie and San looked at it for a second after our gaze met.  _ What was left of Misuk’s body…. _

"You know he can't be here for that long knowing we have to move and keep looking", I spoke lowering my gaze to stare at the animal, it was a cute puppy dressed in white and light brown colors. I never got in their room before, I never had to. It smelled of sweets and kinda sour; walls showered with pictures of their love once, some pages of newspapers talking about the day of the meteor shower, and more. The place screamed for a little more light, but they only had a cute lamp on top of the desk between the beds. It felt kind of cold, but at the same time, the smell of San and Yeosang made it more familiar and cozy.

"We can manage to look for ourselves, Jiyeong", San rolled his eyes and sighed, his cheekbones popped out due to the lack of light and he seemed so tired and sleepy… not that I worried about it, though.

"If you wanna tell the poor heartbroken boy to stay here instead of going out and help us to find the safe place we've been talking about for months, be my guest, San", I jerked up abruptly and motioned to go out of there, but San wrapped my right arm with his right hand a little too tight for my pleasure and whispered: "don't… we need to talk about this now." 

“He will only listen to you or Hongjoong, but Joong also thinks is the best for him if he keeps helping us”, Yeosang was now inches away from my face, his gaze looking deep into my soul while I looked between him and San. 

“My answer stills the same, guys. A friend just died, we can’t hold people down just because they could be a little disturbed about the news”, I spatted and threw the plushie to its bed. 

“And then, make us all kill ”, the dark hair boy spoke almost in a whisper but he knew we heard him.

Yeosang groaned and straightened his back, his eyes now piercing mine, barely painfully.

“Maybe someday you’ll realize that every single mistake has consequences. Her death is on you, Jiyeong. This could slow us down a couple of days and-”

“A minute ago you were sorry, now you’re an asshole spitting shit at me like if I wasn’t aware of what just happened. I was there, you idiot...”, I interrupted him with a sharp voice and cleared the lump that was starting to form in my throat. “If this is gonna be our routine, don’t talk to me again, Yeosang.” 

He stepped back, eyes a little shocked and taken by surprise. Then, he muttered “This is gonna be all your fault, Jiyeong”, and left the room with rage, leaving me with the devilish boy. I looked down at San's hand and he let me go, although my skin was burning from the contact and it started to inch. I didn't back off, neither walked out of there. Yeosang was mad again and the last thing he probably wanted was to see me around. San was staring at me so determined that I felt the need to hold his sharp gaze, unwilling to back down till one of us won the battle, it was a war between air and a strange connection we couldn't cut so easily. The right side of his lips turn up, a bit amused. Seconds later, he grasped his throat and lowered his gaze. 

"I'm sorry", I was taken aback by the statement, I’ve never heard San apologizing, not even when he bumped into Lucas while dancing and almost ruined the performance; not even when Seonghwa prepared a full plate of healthy breakfast for Yeosang because he needed the energy to go haunting and San ended up eating the half of the food thinking it was for him. Not even when he and Jin were fighting and, as the dance class tried to stop them, San misstep in the congestion of hands and bodies and fell on top of me, causing me to have a sprained ankle that held me for two weeks.

_ What the fuck was that?  _

"What the fuck…" I murmured, making San scoff and rolled his green eyes. His lips almost showed a smile, almost.

"I know, right?", our shoulders brushed as he walked next to me and sat on the light green bed, taking the plushie between his hands. "I know the things I say hurt… but you know I'm right. Although, Yeosang is just mad at you as we all are. Not because all of this is your fault, we’re mad because we care about you."

I sat next to him.

"Keep going", I said, encouraging him to continue, somehow I was enjoying this. 

He huffed and turned his face to see me, now he was smiling. I lowkey missed his smile, it was beautiful to be honest; on stage, he used to smile when people screamed his name, he vividly enjoyed the attention he was given but after not being able to fully express yourself with no more than your hands, you'll close yourself up… we all did. 

"When you guys returned, I'm not gonna lie…", he sighed as his shoulders relaxed a bit. "I was kinda mad at you for taking such a stupid idea and I know I can't make you think clearly once it's stuck in your brain." He wasn't wrong, my stubborn ass liked the ideas I had, sometimes they were the worst choice I would ever do, but they were worth it… didn't they?

"You were three hours later, Ji… Jongho, Yunho and I were just ready to look out for all of you if it wasn't for Joong and his trust in you. You’re  _ so _ stupid...", he then spatted a little harsh. Where was that smile again? I cleared my throat and looked at a specific blank spot on the floor. 

"And after all, here I am, right?", I shrugged and gave him a little smile with sad eyes. Yeah, Misuk's death was pretty bad but they were right, we had a purpose, we needed to fulfill it as quickly as we could. 

Suddenly, I felt San's strong arms around my shoulders as he hid his face in my neck. I tensed up and panicked inside. That kind of gesture never happened before, we never hugged… never.  _ Was he really that worried?  _

“I’m so mad right now…”, he whispered as his arms tighten around me. “What if you guys were gone by now and the last thing I did was yell at you for being so stubborn? I will never forgive myself…”

"San, that's because you're an asshole…", I chuckled lightly, he stayed silent. "And it's okay… we're gonna be okay", my arms wrapped his waist and he pulled me closer. His whole body radiated warmth, his soft and calmed breathes caressed my sensitive skin and I shivered once again. "San…", I whispered as he ran his hands up and down my spine slowly, my back was on fire now, everything burnt as if we walked next to the sun and the flames touched over my clothes, sticking them into my flesh and bones. It sounded painfully bad but was extremely pleasant.

"I know you hate me, I hate you too…", he scoffed and let go of me. "But you can't just… die, okay?", he said in a smooth voice, almost endearing. That was weird, the frown on my face tensed him and he looked away from my face to the plushie on the bed. He grabbed it and then mumbled: “At least not when we had an argument and you can’t apologize.” 

I softly chuckled and bit my lower lip to stop the word “asshole” from coming out. I left his side and was about to walk out when his voice stopped me.

"By the way, can you not hold Shiber like that again? It feels he's about to die", he referred to the plushie in his hands and my throat got dry.  _ Was it his?! Who the fuck is this guy?! _

“Right… Sorry, ‘bout that”.

I left the room with my face slightly blushed. I let out a breath that I didn’t think I was holding,  _ he’s an idiot _ . I passed the rooms right to the living room and saw Seonghwa still washing the dishes. Yunho and Mingi were curled up asleep on the sofa asleep, Hongjoong and Yeosang were nowhere to be found, and Wooyoung entered Jongho’s and Mingi’s bedroom to watch out for the younger boy. My impulsive self decided to slip my arms around Seonghwa’s waist and rest my cheek on his back. San made a point, what if the creatures would’ve heard us and none of us wouldn't’ have made it? The guys would’ve looked out for us just to realize how dead we would’ve been.. And just because Misuk and I wanted to collaborate a little more, going and doing risky stuff would give us a little more of the adrenaline we had near the house. And then there was Yeosang... I knew the idea was mine and Misuk took it as a free pass to go outside the house limits. Our turn to go for supplies was changed when Jin died, so we had a whole month inside the limits and Misuk was being a pain in the ass. Would Jongho be like that if we locked him up for that long?

“I’m so sorry…”, Seonghwa froze as the words left my mouth, I closed my eyes filling my nostrils with his viril scent and let myself embrace the warmth of his body. He was like a brother to me, we were the same age -as Hongjoong- and I felt closer to them than anyone else due to that one time when we had a performance together and spent a lot of time next to each other, eventually, we became the best of friends. They helped me with my paintings, I helped them with any of the tasks they had in their music major. They knew that when I got clingy, something very bad was happening to me. 

“I should’ve listened to them and stay here, Hwa…”, I shut my eyes harder, it made me dizzy when the white spots appeared, but it kept the tears from falling, and no, I wasn’t in the mood for let them see me crying, it was really hard to keep it cool though. “Why am I so stubborn…? Misuk would be alive if it wasn’t for me. I’m such a bad influence in here, you would be better without-”. Seonghwa turned around in a blink and covered me with his arms. 

“Shut up, Jiyeong, don’t you dare continue that sentence…”, he rested his head on mine while I held him as close as I could. I held a large part of his shirt in my hands, wrinkling it and slightly holding it up so his back was a little exposed. Seonghwa apparently didn’t care about the cold air caressing his bare skin, he worried more about the tears that slowly wet the cotton cloth covering his chest. “You are aware that we all made that decision, right? We all are part of this mess and yeah, if maybe you both wouldn’t have gone with me, Misuk would have been probably alive, or not. We don’t know that… Maybe it could’ve been me instead but... ”, he sighed. His hands started to push me even though I didn’t like the idea, so I grabbed him tightly. “Jiyeong, look at me, please”, his voice was, once again, as smooth and tender as always. Finally I jerked my head up and looked into his blue eyes.

“You just make those images of Misuk change into you being the one laying there, Seonghwa... “, a soft sob escaped my mouth and could hear a door open followed by a couple of steps that stopped abruptly. 

“I- I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to do that, Ji…”, Seonghwa kissed the top of my head and, one more time, pushed softly for me to see him. My eyes were puffy and redness decorated them with a pink flush on my nose. 

“I may have been brave out there, I may have been all serious and mature, but you can’t realize how afraid I was…”, after a hard swallow, I liked my lips and sighed. “I keep hearing her flesh and bones being crushed by those teeth, Hwa.”, I sniffed and faced him for real. His blue eyes were a little glassy and he seemed sad, I know he wanted to be strong for the both of us, but man, that was hard. His thumbs brushed the tears aways from my cheeks.

“You usually lock your feelings because you’re afraid of being judged, we are in a place where we don’t have time for that”, no one will ever understand how Seonghwa’s gaze could make you zoom out of the place you were and feel so at peace. My breathing normalized progressively as my little sobs faded away. He felt familiar and comfortable. “If you want to cry, do it. It doesn’t matter if you’re alone, but it’s better to let all those feelings out there than keep them until you explode.”

“I feel… weak.”, his eyebrows knitted and he scanned my face looking for more answers. “I couldn’t help her and I let her go to that birdhouse, it was me...”, my fists lost their grip and I took a step back. “No one else can die like that, Seonghwa. We can’t let that happen.” The taller boy took a deep breath, which caressed my face after he released it. His strong hands grabbed my shoulders and made me step forward.

“You are strong, Ji, emotionally speaking. Maybe your body is not fit for lifting a car, but you are strong for lifting what was left of Jiyeong after those monsters left and buried her…”, he came closer and lowered his forehead to mine, his hands lowered as well and we interlocked our fingers. Everyone who wouldn’t know our relationship could say we were dating, but that's the way we reassured ourselves that we were not alone. It was the same habit with Hongjoong. 

Another step was heard and then, a door closed a little too hard.

“I wanted to honor her life, at least keeping the rest that was left of her in a place where we could visit if we come over again…”, my head was spinning and I looked down to our intertwined hands, they were clean but hours ago they were just filthy with burgundy liquid, brown and wet dirt and my salty tears. We arrived sweating from all the dirt that we moved to bury Misuk’s body near the place she was killed, we told no one about it, except for Hongjoong because it was too risky and it wasn't easy as well to go all the way down the rooftop with a half-dead body. 

“You are brave, you are strong and nobody can tell you the opposite, ok?”, Seonghwa grabbed my face between his hands and squeezed a little. That made me laugh for a second and I sniffed once more. He really wanted to motivate me, no matter how cheesy he was.

“Now, go to sleep”, he patted my head and gestured with his head to my bedroom. I hesitated for a second when I realized how cold that room must’ve been, should I sleep in there knowing that was the last thing I was going to do? Misuk’s scent when she was alive would mix with his decomposed smell. My heart beated in my ears as a second lump reached my throat.

“Hwa… Could you…?”, I never finished the question ‘cause he was giggling at me. He put a hand down my back and led me to the bedrooms.

“Yeah, Ji. I wouldn’t mind the company”, he then stopped and went to the sofa, lifted a little the blanket that covered the two big boys and turned off the living room’s light. “I’ll tell Hongjoong to join us and cuddle as much as you want”

“I don’t… cuddle”, I mumbled staring at the floor, a little embarrassed to admit anything.

“Hm… So, no cuddle”, he nodded deadpan seriously and I opened my eyes with some dramatic fear on them. 

“W-Well… Maybe I want to cuddle but fuck you tho”, I whispered while my fist collided with his chest.

A grin showed up in his face and we walked to the room I shared with Misuk. Jongho was surprisingly there cuddling with San and Wooyoung. The three of them sleeping on Misuk’s bed made the scene more nostalgic than cute. Seonghwa squeezed my shoulders and I finally grabbed my pillows heading out of there to enter Honjoong and Seonghwa’s bedroom. Hongjoong was there, listening to some music from his iPod. When he saw us, he gave us a little smile and patted a free spot on his bed for us to lay down. 

“I was waiting for you, and I must confess that I'm scared of this power. Knowing you damn well will be the death of me”, he giggled as fast as his smile faded away. His face softened. “I- I didn’t mean that…”

“Just shut up and cuddle, you big dumbass.”, I groaned and let myself get cosy with the mullet boy and the raven boy. They hugged my waist as I grabbed their arms and pulled them closer. That way, they met Morpheus a couple of minutes later, while my mind wondered and repeated the scenes from the afternoon. We were ready to move on a week later when we found out that the safe zone was pretty close. After five months of seeking for some help and finally acknowledging that the place that Jin found out a couple of days before he was attacked, was way up North through the deserted city, 10 or 11 miles from where we stayed. On foot, it was gonna take us three days with some break times in the middle, but the great news was that we were closer than ever. He would be proud. Him and the others that left our side in our crusade, we would finally reach Wonderland. Perhaps it was all a dream, some cheesy rumor for those who still had some hope inside their helpless bodies. And, yes, we were those with hope and helpless bodies ready to die for a rumor, fuck off. Desperate actions are made in desperate times. 

“Try to close your eyes, Ji”, Seonghwa’s raspy voice alerted me when I was so self-absorbed by my thoughts. “I know it’s hard but we’re here for you”, he closed his eyes one more time and tightened his grip on my waist. Suddenly, Hongjoong’s hand caressed the exposed skin of my stomach and whispered.

“No one would harm you, not when we’re around”

“You just quote Sweeney Todd?”, I asked with a grin on my face.

“Goodnight, Jiyeong”, he smiled and kissed my shoulder. 

“Night, guys”

And so, my eyelids felt heavy, my breath slowed down, and soon after I was dreaming, dreaming about safety, a place where no one would get hurt or murder, a place where we would be happy and carelessly free. Well, those dreams would crash out pretty soon, but I wasn’t aware of that, any of us were.

  
  
  


(...)


	5. The beginning of the end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a world full of silence and dangerous creatures seeking for blood, a group of friends has to survive for their own good and find the safe place they’ve heard about months ago.
> 
> Note: This story is entirely fictional. The universe written is an adaptation of John Krasinski’s movie A Quiet Place, some terms or actions may or may not be included in the film. 
> 
> WARNING: The followed story contains descriptions of violence, explicit wounds, mention of blood, death, depression. If you are easily disturbed, please, stop reading for you own good.

My head was pounding and my eyes felt like two heavy doors locked down with a lost key. Suddenly, my chest was the cage of a dragon, and it was going crazy roaring loudly and flying as fast as it could just to find a way out of that prison. I had a sore throat, I could feel it when my breath collided with the walls of my dry mouth, I felt so dehydrated and weak as my body moved an inch. I also was very aware of the little ants that danced inside my hands, making it very difficult to move them. And the pupils down my eyelids started to go from here to there as the images of Day #1 traveled on my mind over and over again as an old fashioned cinema with its old projector and the 35mm movie happening right on the white screen. Blood, screams, fire, none of us knew what the hell was going on but we did know it was terrifying. 

There it was, Kihwang's body lying on the front stairs of the Arts building when a creature ran right to us, I couldn’t even ask myself about what was that at the moment. The head of the animal had thin and strong teeth that grabbed Kihwang's flesh easily with just one bite… and from the noises, Haerin vomited next to us. Lucas ordered all of us to run as fast as we could to the police station, however, it was already on fire when we arrived, panicked and filled the city as sharp screams and the heavy fire in the sky seemed the main show of the night. Baeyong, one of the girls of the dance class, guided us to the church while our surrenders were full of sorrow and despair. That's when three other creatures appeared a few meters next to me, the boys and girls from my class were way headed away, so that's where I knew something was off, I remembered being next to Hongjoong that exact moment and the one left behind was…  _ oh, shit _ . 

"Jiyeong!", I heard a scream, it sounded like an echo but I couldn't see anything besides the creatures approaching faster as they ran in their two feet/hands. My head clicked finally, I was reliving the moment when Haerin died when we left her there due to her slow running. In our desperate marathon to the church, Haerin's agonizing screams made me turn around to face reality, we switched places and her right arm was extended to where I stood with wide and cristal eyes while her body rested on the ground. Two monsters were upon her, slaughtering her stomach and chest like a mother cutting her son’s birthday cake to the guesses. Haerin's name came out of my mouth as a whisper, it was my fault, I left her aside for my own survival, I knew she ran too slow and, even so, I tried to catch the others _ , so selfish _ .  _ Haerin... _

The third monster started to run my way as it realized my existence. Footsteps came behind me and grabbed my arm with such a strong grip that the mark of the fingers stood on my skin for three days. It was Mingi's; Seonghwa and San reached us and made us run faster than ever. They came back for me as the others entered the church. Lucas was holding the big front door waiting for the rest to get in. He frowned when he saw the creature approaching. 

"RUN FUCKING FASTER, GODDAMMIT", he screamed with his deep voice moving his long arms in support. San pushed me inside the structure as the guys finally got in the place. We were panting and sweating, the people around us watched us with fear in their eyes. Some families were together, hugging themselves to reassure they were "safe". San grabbed my face between his hands and cleaned the tears off my cheeks. I didn't know I was crying. 

"Everything's gonna be okay…", he murmured trying to make me forget what I just saw, what I just made. My best friend… I felt the dizziness knocking the walls of my cranium and my knees stumbled. "Calm down, Jiyeong, breathe…", he motioned his chest as he took a deep breath and exhaled. I mimicked harshly, the air came out trembling as I was trying to not hyperventilate. 

"Everyone, get away from the doors!", Hongjoong imposed when a loud thump came from the wooden door and startled everyone. We walked a few steps back to the center of the church with scared eyes and running hearts. San's arms around my shoulders were something I didn't ask for but also wanted. Mingi and Yunho tried to lock the door with a huge wooden piece of the church and some wooden benches around. Whimpers and anguish were everywhere, every single person inside the place was terrified. No one had a single clue of the current situation and the signal was surprisingly cut off, so we weren't able to contact the police or ask for help from the military. 

"I need to go, I need to see my family…", my voice sounded raspy with a sore throat. I swallowed hard, that made it worse, the burning sensation almost made me puke but I held it by breathing slowly.  _ It’s the end _ , I realized,  _ I’m going to die in this place with strange people and I don’t know shit about my parents… _ , Yunho and Mingi ran to us, getting away from the door. Mingi was panting harshly and I could see the fear in his eyes.  _ He knows this is it... _ I was certain of it. It was the beginning of the end, for sure. My body was shaking and my ears buzzed loudly, it resembled the day of my first presentations, I wasn't sure if people would like my art or my dance moves, so my body would immediately lose control. However, the attack made it a million percent worse. 

I turned to look at the dance class, Lucas was calming some boys and girls of the _pizza_ _team_ , I didn’t have Haerin around anymore and the last person I was looking for appeared so suddenly... Misuk was on the floor of the church with blank eyes as a blood thread came out of her mouth, bubbling. She was mumbling something I couldn't understand. Over her were Jin, Hongjoong, Seonghwa and Jongho, their pupils were red and their teeth were sharp and showered with Misuk's blood, all of them smiled at me with the creepiest gesture it could exist. 

_ "NO!", _ I scream sharply and tears streamed down my cheeks again, they felt cold this time. My head pounded more and more, everything felt like hell: hot and painful, if the Devil would whiplash my back, that would’ve felt better than how I was. Until strong arms hold me tight to a strong chest and I let myself cry for the first time in months. I embraced the feeling, I embraced the person holding me, it made me believe it'll never let me go, and that's what I needed, I needed to think that they didn't want me to go even though everything was my fault. Misuk's death, Haerin's death, Lucas disappearing, it'd be ironic if the meteor shower was my fault too… 

"Calm down, Ji… everything's fine now.", Seonghwa said caressing my back as my tears soaked his shirt, my shaky hands grabbed the front of his hoodie. 

"All of them died because of me, Hwa. It's all my fault", my voice broke, I was sobbing and mumbling that I was a fool to believe that it wasn't; if I wasn't there, they would probably be alive, I was the one that always incite people to do things just because I wanted to let them know what they were capable of… But in the end, the consequences felt so wrong, everything was so wrong every fucking time. The thoughts were haunting me constantly.

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Jiyeong, you know it's not true", he kissed the top of my head as he spoke. Seconds later, Hongjoong and Yunho were hugging us tightly and my sobs calmed down progressively. Human warmth was calming in all ways, but it only was better if the people you love gave it to you; you could feel the love exude from their bodies, you could watch the love in their eyes once you separate from the hugs. You could stay there forever and never be tired of it. 

"It's so difficult sometimes…", my whispers made them look at each other with sad eyes. Hongjoong's mouth flashed a little smile and stood up on the bed. 

"Life is difficult sometimes, you just have to take it and remember that, if everything was perfect, life would be very boring", he said. 

"Besides, our lives are pretty fucked since monsters came out of the sky and killed most of the people", Yunho spoke as he whirled around the small room. 

"Yeah, so is that'', Hongjoong scoffed and grabbed my shoulders carefully. "We take care of each other, we're a family", I nodded slowly, fully calmed on the outside, thunderstorm on the inside. "And there are moments when we can't protect others because it's difficult... and we have to find the moment to forgive ourselves, not just throw us all inside the lion's mouth, okay?", the mullet boy let me go and walked to the door. 

"I'm not ready", I muttered as I got myself out of the bed as well, my feet felt so heavy I thought they could be glued to the floor. 

"Take your time", Seonghwa spoke now, I turned to my right to make eye contact, he was smiling. "We can help you, don't bottle up next time." 

The three men looked at me with smiles on their faces, not happy smiles, the sad ones when you messed up something and your friends tried to reassure you that everything's fine and it was no one's fault even tho they all knew you were the reason it was a disaster. The kind of smile that tells you that you are not alone; a sad smile, yes, but with warm eyes that gave you the strength enough to keep climbing the mountain no matter how tired and sweaty you were, the smile that could speak for itself and said  _ I'm not going anywhere without you, keep moving, I'm not leaving you behind.  _

"Guys…", Yunho said, breaking the silence. "Can we  _ please _ take this bonding moment to the kitchen? I'm starving", he groaned, winning giggles from the other men. They left the room while chatting and laughing, and once again I thought that if this was the end,  _ I’m happy to be surrounded by these people. _

(...)


	6. With every storm, there’s a rainbow somewhere.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a world full of silence and dangerous creatures seeking for blood, a group of friends has to survive for their own good and find the safe place they’ve heard about months ago.
> 
> WARNING: The followed story contains descriptions of violence, explicit wounds, mention of blood, death, depression. If you are easily disturbed, please, stop reading for your own good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took so long to upload! I've been working a lot and I barely have time to breath lol. 
> 
> Once again, I hope you like it!

It’s pretty odd to say that after Misuk’s death, the #439 day began as a peaceful day. That Monday Mingi, Wooyoung and Yeosang walked around the periphery recollecting some vegetables that were in our garden behind the old building, I joined a couple of hours later just grabbed some fruits and kept an eye on the boys. We  _ talked _ about how vegetables tasted better than ever and Mingi tried to figure out if the reason was some kind of radioactive answer. Wooyoung tried to hold his sharp laugh eating tons of strawberries, they tained his teeth red for six hours. We also found two raccoon bodies smashed in the middle of the tomatoes, so we figured we had to be more careful outside the building to prepare the runaway. Meanwhile, Yeosang and I recollected some carrots and oranges, the tension between us was visible, we made eye contact three times and the three times I almost growled at him, still mad about last night. I was trying to distract myself from the events of the day before with them, but the thoughts were only intensified by the animal blood near the garden. 

At night, we had dinner indoors, most of the guys were chatting about the few days we had in there, remaking a new plan for us to start heading to our supposed new home, _ Wonderland.  _ However, Seonghwa seemed too caught up on his own world that he didn’t even touch his fish or veggies; and if stares could burn you, Seonghwa caught me staring at him. The worrying look on my face made him give me a smile to put an ease to my thoughts, he started to eat after I gulped a glass of water and gestured to him swallow everything on his plate. I knew he was as affected as I was, maybe even more. Hongjoong had told us he felt guilty for not being able to protect Misuk when he was the strongest between the three of us, it made no sense if he also would’ve been killed. 

Things turned a little tense when Wooyoung mentioned our discovery in the tomato garden. 

_ "You're not allowed to go outside again this week" _ , Hongjoong had said to me when I washed the dishes. He thought that my scent could have probably attracted the creatures near our house. I agreed bluntly as Mingi hugged my back and reassured me that everything would be okay. 

On Tuesday, Yunho, Wooyoung and Jongho prepared an incredible meal with the supplies we brought, the amusing moment was when they realized they couldn't cook without Seonghwa, who was out fixing a fissure in the water pipe, it was caused by that time when Wooyoung went to the bathroom. Yeah, he was right, that shit was pretty messy.  _ Literally _ . I really wanted to go with him but he agreed to go by himself because “ _ he was okay alone” _ . Saying I was hurt was an understatement… By the end of the day, I took care of gathering some supplies for our road trip, organized our food, water, clothes, pills and guns. We were obligated to dominate the art of shooting and targeting stuff, luckily, we used them once in the forest yet we didn’t like to use them due to obvious reasons: _ noise.  _

Anyway, as for San and Hongjoong, they never got out of the oldest bedroom till it was night time. San was carrying a notebook and some papers down his armpits while he grabbed a cup of the black coffee I made for Hongjoong and gave me a flash smile. Sometimes, San and I smiled at each other from time to time when our eyes met for too long, but he still was an idiot with a big ego trying to make me mad at everything he did. I wasn’t sure of that new attitude of his, but it was better than his stearn and cold eyes.

On Wednesday, we all played Monopoly and remained in the basement for safety, if raccoons died the day before, we had to be aware of anything. So, we ended up hating Hongjoong and his fucking cute laugh as he robbed all of our money when we stepped in all his properties, Mingi kept fake-crying for an entire hour as Hongjoong took his little red houses from the spots he bought and he placed his purple buildings instead. Yeosang, Mr. Corrupt Bank, smiled devilishly as he handed Hongjoong the last few dollars of the game. That little bastard knew how to play or he was a mastermind on cheating. San almost punched him and almost threw the game board as he perished in the jail longer than anyone else. We laughed till our bellies hurt until our eyes cried until our cheeks felt hot and our backs collided on the basement floor. The tension around us for the last three days faded away in that exact minute, we were just a group of young adults fooling around with our friends and classmates before Kihwang would come from his Art History class and would yell at us to start running over the place. But he never came, and we never ran, and all that we once knew as a normal life became a living hell as we played seek and hide with some freaking aliens.  _ What a plot twist, bro.  _

On Thursday, I made a peace alliance with Yeosang, not because either of us wanted to, we had to clean the basement with Seonghwa while the others were risking their lives outside looking for some fishy delight; before they left, Hongjoong made us pretty clear that we had to “ _ put our shit together or else…” _ , we didn’t want to know the  _ or else... _ , so we established that we had to figure how to stop looking for each other's throats and befriend one more time. Seonghwa was the mediator, so everything went just fine after some cursing, death wishes, some tears and a hug.

The guys came back three hours later, the river was near the abandoned city so the walk would be tedious. By the time they opened the basement door, Yeosang and Seonghwa were having a big discussion about a puppet show. They started to put a smile on our faces. After cleaning, I was worrying sick about everyone not coming home, so Yeosang thought it might be a good distraction. The show included my fluffy cat, Yeosang’s stuffed turtle, Seonghwa's big red Angry Birds character and San’s puppy, Shiber. 

“She has to marry Private Ryan”, Seonghwa grabbed his fluffy bird and placed my cat next to it. Yeosang frowned, grabbed the cat and placed it next to his turtle.

“Ehm, no, she has to marry Larry”.

“No one wants to  _ marry _ Larry, Yeosang”, Seonghwa spoke as he, once again, took  _ Manny, _ the cat, and put it aside from the animals. I was staring at them the whole time sipping a glass of water in silence because I've already tried to speak and they almost ate me alive. They decided to have “fun” trying to create some kind of bad soap opera, oblivious that the real drama was getting closer and closer. 

“Fuck you, everyone  _ wants _ to marry Larry, even Private Ryan”, Yeosang looked offended and hugged his turtle as if it was alive, he was trying to calm Larry down by caressing its shell. 

“How could anyone marry him? He’s too slow for this, the cat needs some real man that can fly her away from monsters” _ ,  _ the black-haired man logically explained and grin when he watched me hiding a smile. It seemed that the main characters didn't realize the boys were there, waiting for some answers about the childish show. San looked exhausted though. Despite the arguments for my kitten marrying the turtle or the bird, San walked to the couch I was sat on, grabbed Shiber and Manny and sat next to me, interrupting the play. 

“Let’s finish this”, he started, “Manny and Shiber are engaged, I don’t even know why you guys are fighting. Besides, Private Ryan is gonna be the best man and Larry will be the flower boy, now shut up and let them be happy forever so we can rest on our beds, we're pretty tired and I need silence", San made the kitten and his little dog kissed for a second while he looked dead serious with his knitted eyebrows. Then, his features relaxed when a giggle escaped my lips and I covered my mouth with the back of my hand. San’s eyes stared at me with the edges of his mouth barely up and handed the plushies to me. I let the glass of water aside and hugged them together. Seonghwa gasped and Yeosang just glared at San’s Shiber. San stood up and left the living room with Wooyoung side by side, he had the biggest Joker smile I’ve seen and kind of creeped me out. 

The puppet show was over and we had a great dinner with the fishes they hunted. San let me sleep with Shiber as he was now Manny’s husband. _ What can I say? It was childish but cute. _ But suddenly, sleeping between Hongjoong and Seonghwa made me shiver, the warmth of the room disappeared slowly as my body lacked human contact. When my eyes opened, I was welcomed with pure loneliness and a cold room, I frowned. I turned to the side and grabbed my wristwatch, it was 2:35 AM and I still could hear whispers in the living room from them. I was exhausted from the cleaning so I didn't think too much and closed my eyes one more time. I snuggled with Shiber between my arms the rest of the night. 

Now it was Friday, I spent the entire day inside my room due to cramps. At the end of the world a woman still has to survive that pain. My head was killing me and I hesitated every time I wanted to go outside for some air or a glass of water; however, Hongjoong and Seonghwa made sure to warn out the guys to be careful when they came around my room to not cause any problem and disturb my susceptible self. I would eat them alive if they try to argue with me in that state. I could also sense that something was going on, or perhaps I was delusional and craving for some sweet, but they kept their guard on when I started to ask about what they were doing. Hongjoong tensed while he put the cup of tea next to the bed and Seonghwa was the first to talk. 

"Did you not sleep here?", I asked after they avoided the previous question. “I think I had another nightmare, you know, about day 1…” 

"We've been talking with the guys about the next move", the raven boy said and smiled. "Don't worry about us, take the rest of the day." 

"Yeosang sent his iPod '', Hongjoong handed it with the headphones and kissed my head. "We'll talk later, Ji. You stay here and rest", then, they were gone, leaving me with Yeosang’s shuffle playlists. I didn’t ask anything else, however, a strange feeling inside my chest kept me uneased all day.

On Saturday I was ready to leave the room, I was feeling a little bit better than the day before, moreover, the boys were cautious about my movements and talking. 

“Do you need anything, Ji?”, Mingi asked, patting my hair with a soft smile on his face. I returned the gesture touching his well-fitted chest and crunching my nose.

“I’m okay, Mingi, it’ll be over soon”, I assured him as he engulfed me in his strong and long arms. 

“I’m happy I wasn't born as a woman.” 

That was all he said before I killed him with my own hands. Well, actually I punched him a little and made him my slave all day long. Jongho finally talked to me, he looked very sad, though, but it was an improvement. 

“Here are some pills Misuk always asked when she felt bad”, he handed me a little Ziploc with five white pills.

“Oh… thank you, Jongho”, I gave him a quick smile and went to the kitchen.

I stuck to Hongjoong’s side all day since I wanted to be aware of the expedition. Unexpectedly, he was acting weird, he had a certain manner to handle things sometimes and now he was avoiding my gaze, he rather talk about everything but the trip road, he even ordered me to go and paint some animals on the fourth floor after lunch when Yeosang called him to set up some kind of loose ends on the plan. He almost yelled at me when I insisted on helping with the route map, that’s what I’m talking about, that mullet boy never acted like that. I knew I fucked up with Misuk’s murder, yet it increased the continuous torment of the voices inside my head blaming me all over again. I wasn’t ready for him to demonstrate such an attitude about my culpability, thus I stopped and went to my painting room as all the eyes in the place watched my walk of shame. 

On Sunday every rational part of me started to fall apart. I woke up earlier than the boys, it was pretty unusual if I said. I made some breakfast for all, some dumplings, fruits and a hella great coffee, maybe I thought it could be some payment to them for bearing my behavior; before anyone could see me, I grabbed my backpack, filled it with a bottle of water, a few dumplings and fruits, a blanket, some sunlight, my gun and Jongho’s pills. 

I left the basement and went up to the fourth floor of the building, the sun started to rise from the window with its orange light and I smiled at it, I welcomed it with the few energy I had. It felt nostalgic, the quiet floor sometimes could be scary as hell, after all, I was alone in a building where no one would hear my screams from down earth. Moreover, while I put more and more space between the boys and myself, it started to feel like I wasn’t entirely alone, a thread connected us as we became a family after everything we’ve been through. Families fight, families make peace, I just needed a few hours away to understand that I was being skeptical over them hiding things, important things. And I knew we were going on the road the next day, but my chest ached with discomfort and concern due to Hongjoong’s distrust in my capacity to separate my feelings from our main mission: Wonderland. The tables had turned, I was so worried about Jongho’s being the one affected, but in the end, it was only me and my persisting mouth. 

My hands weren’t able to draw a thing, they were rigid, inflexible, unable to even paint a curve. So my feet took me to the rooftop when the sun was finally set up in the sky, saluting with warmth and happiness that I couldn’t feel either. I put some sunlight on while I rested on the floor and closed my eyes. The bright light kept my dreams from the shadows as my mind traveled to a parallel world where everything around me glowed, where my body felt loose, like floating through the space in the quietness of the periphery. My chest went up and down as I took deep breaths and a minute later I was fully relaxed, no worries in my mind, no negative thoughts about blood, or death, or sorrow, or guilt... With every storm, there’s a rainbow somewhere, it just wasn’t raining any time soon. After a minute or two, the slumber won the battle between anxiety and disappointment and I submerged in the glowing sea of hope and dreams that once were reachable in the impossible now. 

A few hours later, a big shadow blinded the bright sun and made me open my eyes a bit faster than usual, the blurry figure was looking at me from above with a tense jaw and fisting hands.

“How long have you been here?”, the man signed abruptly and my eyebrows knitted.

“What do you mean?”, I raised my back up a little and sat slowly, for a few seconds dizziness invaded my sight and I blinked severely as Hongjoong’s face became visible.

“Did you not see the time, Jiyeong?”, then I looked around. The sky was still lit up but little shiny stars started to show up as minutes passed by.  _ How long did I sleep?  _ I was sure my nightmares depraved me without good rest, but I wasn’t aware of how tired I really was. 

“We thought you’ve left a while ago”, again, he moved his hands harshly and it didn’t matter if we were quiet, his face expressed the anger he was holding inside. 

“Couldn’t you look up in here?”, I got up on my two feet and dust off my clothes. “Even so, why would I leave without you? I was waiting till you had your breakfast to go downstairs and finally began the travel”.

“We already had lunch, Jiyeong, it’s been seven hours…”, I was taken by surprise realizing how much I was off. My skin felt warm due to the sun but it didn’t hurt too much. “Don’t do that again, okay? We-… I thought...”, Hongjoong sighed and bit his lip.

“What? That I’ll leave you just because you’re being a dick to me? Nah, I’m too rational to know that we need to stick together no matter what.”

He avoided my eyes one more time and I finally snapped. I approached him, grabbed the collar of his jacket harshly, making him stumble on his own feet. Anger boiled my blood as my body reacted without warning. My knuckles were white as the strength I put on my hold was too much for myself. Hongjoong’s eyes were wide open and his mouth partly startled, we had never had an encounter like that before and me being aggressive was never on my mind, yet I couldn’t stand it anymore. 

Suddenly, I let Hongjoong’s jacket go and signed with pure wrath.

“I’m tired of your shit, Hongjoong. All I’m trying to do is help you with the trip and here you are, treating me like I was some kind of girl that is too scared to hear men talk. I’m tired of being left alone. You realized I wasn’t in the basement like a minute ago and don’t try to lie to me”, Hongjoong was perplexed trying to catch up with my fast movements. He raised his hands and I shook my head. “You thought I was inside the bedroom after I cooked your breakfast just because you’re so caught up with the fucking plan that you don’t understand how shitty I felt this week. I know you don’t trust me, but don’t hide value information when we are a fucking team, Hongjoong…”

I was panting, the thumping of my heart almost scared me,  _ was it that loud? Would the creatures listen to it?  _ Hongjoong’s dumbfounded face was a poem, he just stood there looking right through me and I stood there, letting him. Two minutes later, he signed.

“This is the first time you said Hongjoong too many times instead of Joong, so… I assume I really upset you this time”, he sighed one more time, he pressed his hands on his temples, passed it through his hair and stepped closer to hug me tighter than ever. I didn’t return the gesture, not even when I really needed to hold him. When he noticed, he sighed one more time and let me go. 

“I’m so sorry… it’s just that San and I’ve been changing some things we already had planned before the incident with Misuk and we had to arrange things by putting you too much pressure, most of us are against the idea of lending you such demands when Seonghwa is as well going through it…”, his sad eyes showed how anxious he was, he cupped my face with his hands and caressed my cheeks. A ghost smile appeared on my face and made him grin in victory. 

“This is not the first time we’ve faced dead friends or family, Joong. I’m stronger than this, it just happened to bring back old bad memories, that’s all”, I signed and shrugged, not wanting to think about them after my seven hours of sleep.

“That’s all…”, he signed in response. He pressed his lips together as he squeezed my shoulders and stepped back. His eyes looked around quickly with a bothered gaze. “What if we talked inside? It’s getting darker and I-  _ we  _ need you safe…”, Hongjoong grabbed the bag on the floor, opened the rooftop’s door for me and extended his hand for me to hold it. 

“Only if you agree to make some of that horrible tea for me before we go…”, I crossed my arms over my chest and stopped a meter away from him. The mullet boy’s grin fainted and he swallowed hard, which made me frown. But before I could ask, he nodded with a smile, held my hand and made me follow him to the basement. A cup of the wasn’t going to stop me from demanding answers, not when I could tell that something was disturbing him; after all, we were ready to leave the place that day and nothing could stop us, at least nothing that I was aware of _. _

  
  


(...) 


	7. Kids playing to be adults

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a world full of silence and dangerous creatures seeking for blood, a group of friends has to survive for their own good and find the safe place they’ve heard about months ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is a pretty long chapter than the others and ANGSTY UWU.  
> ENJOY ;D
> 
> Sorry if I made mistakes, this isn't proofread yet ;p

When the basement door opened, I had a sad smile on my face and I was clinging to Hongjoong’s arm as he whispered the story about our time in the woods and how we found out about  _ Wonderland _ , the promising land that expected us on the other side of our road. We’d been walking for weeks in the vast woods, hiding from the recent attack we had from an unknown group of rebels that wanted our food, clothes and, if we were lucky, they'd leave us alone, but that day was one of the worst. The group leader, a guy whose name I think was “ _ Coups _ ' ' refused to let us go without having some fun, and by  _ fun, _ I mean taking Misuk, Byol, or me, the only girls around, into hell. When he took Byol away from us, she struggled with the guy’s grip and managed to escape, but, unfortunately, Coups happened to be faster, agile and also evil. A blink later, Byol had a sharp knife nailed on the side of her neck and her eyes went backward, fully white. Coups had a hand over her mouth to quiet the noises she’d make. Blood started to flow quickly outside her body, splashing Coups face with its burgundy color and warm steam. The other group had now more members than us, thus my friends were being held on by the rebels, incapable of saving her or any of us. 

When Coups rested the lifeless body on the wet mod carefully and gestured to reach for Misuk, the tan boy, Lucas, wrestled in a rebel's arms and tossed him on the ground with a thumping noise, everybody tensed and Lucas started to sign with trembling hands. 

“Stop! Don’t hurt anyone else, please…”, Lucas’ face was shocked, he was one of the strongest of us, he would always take care of his friends and, when the apocalypse started, he was devastated that he couldn’t safe his family, furthermore, he decided to protect his new family,  _ us. _ The air in his lungs traveled as fast as it got there, sweat started to roll down his forehead and his eyes looked between Byol’s body, the leader, Misuk and me. 

“I can’t take an offer if I’m not winning anything in exchange”, Coups approached and captured Misuk’s wrist, she didn’t flinch at all, keeping a straight face. 

“Take me instead! I- I’m strong, I can carry things!”, Lucas tried again, stepping forward cautiously with hands in the air. The rebels looked at their leader waiting for his commands. Coups glanced at the tan boy from head to toe.

Like a flash, Coups took out of his back a .48 gun fully loaded and pointed it to the tall boy’s direction, he whispered: “Do you know how to use this?”

Lucas nodded hastily as he stood before us, blocking Coups’ sight. That was the last day we saw Lucas, tears streamed down almost everyone’s eyes as we parted ways due to his sacrifice. I never got the chance to thank him nor say goodbye, they just vanished quickly and left us wandering around. 

Days later, we found a place near a river guarded by a couple of old ladies and a young boy called Jeongin. They took us for the night while we rested in a warm place with a roof. It had been a while since we had a roof over our heads when we slept. That night, Jeongin told us a story about a group of ladies that passed by days before talking about a new safe place, they called it “ _ Wonderland” _ as if it was made for those who still believed in a world where noise fills your ears with joy, laughter, real voices and isolated you from fear and danger, that was our basement for us, we could talk freely after a few arrangements and for the past six months, we were truly happy. 

Although nothing lasts forever and food was running out, we started to ration water and medicine. When Hongjoong noticed that, we had a discussion one night while everyone was eating. He made us all promise to get safe to the place where our hopes could finally be tangible, where food lasted and had variety, where we could love, laugh, stop worrying about the creatures around ready to slaughter our weak and tired bodies.

Hongjoong closed the door behind him and the room fell silent; Yeosang, San and Wooyoung gathered in the kitchen while they whispered with concerned eyes something I couldn't catch. There was no sight of the rest, so I decided to ignore them as I believed they would have the same behavior as Hongjoong before our talk. 

Joong walked next to them and they exchanged a strange glance. The air felt heavy, their bodies were alert at any moves I could make and you could cut the tension with a knife if you wanted. San cleared his throat when I walked next to them looking for the kettle and the leaves for the tea, I rolled my eyes when Yeosang avoided my eyes.

“I hope he’s doing fine”, I broke the awkward silence in the room and the guys jerked up in surprise. I missed Lucas, he was a living party in this hell, easy-going, gentle, a good friend. We will always remember how he exchanged his life for ours. 

"Ehm…", Hongjoong thought for a minute asking himself why would I say that before comprehending the idea. "I'm pretty sure he's fine, Lucas is a strong man and knows how to take care of himself", I handed him the kettle and opened a jar of jam almost empty to spread some on my right finger.

A few breaths later and shared glances, Wooyoung mumbled " _ she needs to know _ " a little bit too loud to let me understand the words. San sighed as Yeosang shook his head in denial. I turned to face them with pursed lips and raised an eyebrow as my body reflected hot steam from my upset mind.

“Quit the fucking act and tell me what’s wrong”, I sighed desperately. Having them staring at every movement I made was making me go insane, I was treated like their prey in the isolated clearing part of the forest, easy to hunt. The black-haired boy flinched and turned his head to the other side. Wooyoung gulped and closed his eyes for a second. He then stepped closer and placed his hands on my shoulders.

“What?”, my eyebrows knitted, San scratched the back of his neck, Yeosang sat on the couch pissed off, Hongjoong put the kettle down and looked at the basement door for something to happen. 

“We were supposed to wait until we all went down the basement again, but I know you’ll be hella mad at them for this…”, suddenly, Wooyoung made me sit on the couch next to Yeosang and took a deep breath. The tickling sensation in the middle of my chest started to emerge from the bottom of my body, confusion was all written on my face as Hongjoong and San approached a few steps near us. 

And like a bullet colliding unexpectedly into my flesh, Hongjoong spoke slowly painfully. 

“Jongho went to the abandoned city like an hour ago…”

_ Hold your horses…  _

“What…?”, I barely said, the air in my lungs left entirely as my eyes pierced Honjoong’s pupils severely. Wooyoung moved uncomfortably on his spot, avoiding my eyes. “...Why?”, I spoke again with knitted eyebrows and dry lips. 

“The little brat wanted to keep the search. A week has passed….”, San’s voice sounded like an echo now. _ Why would they let him go? Why would they allow the younger boy to go straight to his own death? I… I don’t understand shit.  _

“Yeah, a week of non-existing Jongho... I barely sensed him”, Wooyoung added, playing with his hands, maybe he didn’t really know where to put them or it was just anxiety. 

“You all know why he wanted to go there…”, I left out a sigh. Leaning forward with my elbows on my knees, I hid my face in my hands at the same time my skin began to warm. “I can’t believe you agreed to this.”

“You were the first one saying to let him go,” Yeosang finally spoke since we came back to the basement, his face unreadable. “You said we needed to let him be himself and not to hold him in here after Misuk’s death, Jiyeong”, he spatted a little too harsh gaining stearns from Hongjoong and San. Wooyoung just wanted to avoid all of this knowing too well at the end of the conversation.

“I never thought he would really go out there!”, exasperation started to boil inside me, and it was noticeable due to the tone of my voice. “It could take him a whole day before he even found the place that happened! You just let him go to his own death!”, I groaned and stood up on the couch, hands sweating and my heart pumping insanely into my ears. 

“He’s well aware of that, he won’t do anything stupid!” Wooyoung tried to ease the heavy air surrounding the place, he really tried, yet we knew it was going to be impossible with the characters discussing. 

“And if he does, he’ll end up like Misuk and a trillion other people, that’s the course of life”, Yeosang was on his two feet now on the other side of the room serving himself a glass of water. My lips trembled as I was barely containing myself from the rage, he always had that facility to say things without affecting him, he seemed so nonchalant about death, about love, about fun, about every fucking thing in this life…I cleared my throat and rather watch the others’ faces than his. 

“Who’s with him? Yunho? Hwa?”, I asked fisting my hands.  _ Did Seonghwa accept to go along Jongho and show him the place where we bury her? Was he ready to do that? _

“Mingi”, San replied after a long sigh and I looked back at him with panic written all over my face.

“What the fuck?!”

“He insisted”, he explained scratching the back of his neck. Wooyoung whispered something to Yeosang and Hongjoong tapped his foot nervously on the floor. 

“Do you realize their chances are low, right? They need protection, our protection”, a faint sore throat started to appear when my voice came out stronger than I thought. I felt like the mother of naughty children running after them and scolding them one by one. 

“They’ll be fine, Ji, they’re adults. Stop worrying”, the black-haired boy responded one more time, almost like a mumble. 

“Fuck you, San, I can’t just... back off from this! Jongho is going to Misuk’s death spot and all he’s gonna find is nothing but dust. We-”

The basement door opened suddenly making me jump from surprise. All five heads turned in that direction just to find Yunho and Seonghwa carrying some firewood and water. 

“We started the fire on the watchtower so the others around would be more careful”, Seonghwa stated and Hongjoong patted his shoulder. Yunho joined us by sitting on the couch with a tired face. 

I frowned hearing that new, every time silence engulfed the basement, my heart beats became louder and faster to a point that made me dizzy. 

“You were saying…” Hongjoong muttered, gesturing to me to keep talking. I blinked a few times and licked my lips. Seonghwa looked at me with a frown, I just ignored it. 

“We moved what was left of her body…”, I sighed and watched a specific black spot on the ground, not knowing what type of faces the guys would make to that information. “We buried her in a better place, somewhere to be missed and honored.” My hands found their place into my jean pockets and I closed my eyes,  _ maybe I could calm my heart taking deep breaths _ . 

So I did. 

“Where’s that?”, that question… that fucking question that I didn’t want to answer. 

“Near Lee’s Valley…”, Seonghwa spoke after he realized I wasn’t going to say it out loud. 

“You carried a dead body to Lee’s Valley without us?! Are you fucking crazy?!” Wooyoung’s calming presence just left the chat and we welcomed the angry and enraged Woo. 

“Nothing happened”, simply as that, Hongjoong had a concerned look on his face, San nibbled the skin of his left thumb while Seonghwa looked at me with sad eyes, Yeosang pressed his lips together showing angry eyes and Yunho intertwined his own hands with his elbows on his knees. 

“Don’t you ever go there again, Jiyeong. You know what they did with that boy, the freckles boy” Wooyoung warned. 

“Yongbok?” San asked with a quick look at his friend. 

“He’s alive” Hongjoong assured. 

“Cause he's Lee,” Yunho added, cooling the air. 

“Yunho, shut up, please” Hongjoong shook his head. 

“It’s the truth, you only survive if you’re related” Yunho defended the statement and nodded. Then, he rested his back on the couch. 

“Jongho and Mingi would never find her without our help, I can’t believe you ruined everything we’ve been working these months just to let a potential prey be killed”, my nostrils let out the heavy breathes I was taking to stop me from bursting into tears, even if I wasn’t yelling, the hardness of my voice almost scared me, I wasn’t aware of how the different scenarios lived today could change my mood so sudden. San noticed the shift of my emotions and frowned. 

“He wants to pay respect to his dead girlfriend”, he mentioned taking one step in front of me. 

I needed to rest, I needed to go back to my glowing fantasy and be happy, no worries, no headaches.  _ Why are my eyes hurting so much right now? Why are they throbbing? Do I have a fever?  _ Everything was burning.  __

“When the hell did they start dating?”, I muttered, becoming exhausted about that. 

“You’ll realize more about things if you weren’t so oblivious” Yeosang’s words came out bluntly, his sharp features judging every second I spoke.

“I’m concerned about the things that matter the most and you know it's surviving.”

“Well, maybe some people think that if we’re surviving, maybe we could start from zero with someone else”, he replied again leaning on the kitchen short countertop.

“Did you hear yourself right now? Did you guys hear that?”, my feet stepped closer to Yeosang, he hid a little smirk and my blood boiled.  _ What is he trying to play? We finally decided to make peace and he’s ruining the whole fucking thing. _

“We all need love, Jiyeong, even the girl obsessed with aliens knew it”, now it was San’s words that startled me.

I froze in the middle of the living room, a few steps near Yeosang, a few steps near San. 

Silence.

Everything fell silent after that and it felt awfully wrong.  _ Why is this happening right now? Couldn’t he just wait until all of us joined him on the road?  _ These situations complicated the whole plan, this brought the worst of all of us together. We were tense, we were worrying too much about the boys.  _ Well, I was.  _ We talked about leaving for Wonderland that day, why did Jongho and Mingi have to go when they knew the plan. Why was everything so difficult?

Interpersonal relationships should improve in a world full of disaster, fear and quality of life options. People should trust each other, give everything for the other knowing that any time could become the last time...  _ no, there is no way to think about anything other than survival, there is ... no…  _

Hongjoong's eyes switched between Yeosang and me, he wanted to prevent any other fight that was about to happen. Yeosang had the singularity of saying things directly, without shame, without caring about others’ feelings as long as he didn’t feel affected or destroyed inside. Although, the truth could be quite the opposite and perhaps only sought attention to his own loneliness. However, my approach to the extreme of some situations was due to how fragile I used to be. Human beings can develop new masks to problems to avoid showing vulnerability, and there we were, trying to avoid buried feelings to emerge victoriously from an argument which end will always be brutal for everyone.

“I’m going out”, I said firmly. San’s hand found his way once again to my wrist.  _ No, there is no fucking way to… no… Why does his hand feel like that…? _

“You can’t! That’s why Hongjoong went to look out for you… after they left, Wooyoung heard some noises outside…”, Yunho spoke rationally this time. His panicked voice made me stop on my way.  _ Or was it the way San was looking at me with begging eyes? No, it definitely wasn’t… Shit. _

“I don’t fucking care, they are in great danger and it’s your fault, so let me fix this…”

“No”, San stated this time. His grip tightened a little more, without hurting.

“I need to fix this, please…”, that came out almost like a whimper. Seonghwa walked next to me and squeezed my arms while his big and deep blue eyes looked at me with determination. 

“Until we can assure there's no more danger, no one gets out, clear?” he ordered calmly but certain that I’d respect the decision. 

“You can’t tell me what to do”, I yanked from his and San’s grip, finally free but not stepping aside. 

“You’re acting like a kid”, Yeosang whispered and rolled his eyes.  _ That’s it, that’s my mark…  _

“ _ I’m _ acting like a kid? You are the one who rathers talk about relationships when it’s the end of the fucking world and our main priority is Wonderland!”, I turned abruptly to him almost hitting his face with the braids of my hair. Yeosang flinched but didn’t step back.

“We’ve survived for almost 500 days since the attack and people live their lives as if nothing happened, maybe we should do the same instead of pursuing a place we heard months ago”, the tip of his feet touched mine, I scoffed.

“You know what? Shit happened! Our families died, our friends died! We are so lucky to be alive right now and you just let our friends go to their death wish!”, my voice trembled at the end, getting weak at the sensation of tears forming in my eyes. 

“Both of you, calm down” Hongjoong muttered watching carefully our movements. I lowered my head, not wanting to face Yeosang’s stearn.

“I just want to fix this, I can’t let them die as I did with Misuk…”, I whispered, fisting my hands and feeling the lump in my throat. I felt guilty already, this situation was also my fault. If Misuk hadn’t died that day, Jongho and Mingi would be home safe and sound with us.

“Jiyeong… you know it’s not your fault, we talked about this”, Wooyoung reassured smoothly, probably everyone was looking at me with sadness and concern… I hated it. I wanted them to say it was indeed my fault, I really wanted to hear from them that my actions had consequences, that with every step forward I take, I go backward thousands more. It was hideous being the only one realizing the facts and not treating the guilty with compassion. 

“I’d rather be in her place than feeling the constant guilt eating me alive…” I heard how Yeosang clicked his tongue and left out a loud groan full of frustration. 

“Could you  _ please _ behave yourself and stop being such a whining selfish bitch?”

Everyone flinched at the words that came out of his mouth. Yunho gasped in surprise while San clenched his jaw and was about to grab Yeosang’s shirt if it wasn’t for my arm hitting his chest to stop him. 

I was a little startled, yet I knew Yeosang would explode quickly at my words. I just couldn’t believe he’d call me like that. 

“What did you just say?”, I frowned and tilted my head a little to the side. Yeosang’s eyes scanned my face and pursed his lips again. 

“You’ve been such a crybaby since last week and it’s exhausting... We appreciate the care you had for Misuk, but life goes on, it’s time to grow up”, his voice was gentle this time, perhaps he noticed how rushed it came out for having everyone so dumbfounded. 

“Yeosang…” San started between his teeth, Yeosang interrupted stepping back. 

“Am I wrong? You all said this morning when she was out that she needed to calm down and be more rational about the situation”, his eyes traveled to every face in the basement, some of them had wide eyes and uneased faces. San and Seonghwa were madders than the others, though. “You said that if she wanted to keep going, she had to stop acting so depressed and be responsible for her actions.”

“We never said that!” Wooyoung suddenly interrupted with a sharp tone, he was outrageous. 

“ _ You _ did” San spatted, eyes never leaving Yeosang’s. 

“Nobody argued with me, tho. Nobody changed my mind, so you agreed indirectly with me that she’s being a whiny selfish girl ” Yeosang cleared, a smirk showing up in his face. 

Silence surrounded us one more time.  _ Nobody argued with him, huh? _ I licked my lips slowly and stepped closer to Yeosang. He tensed for a second when the tip of our noses touched, but then, his features relaxed slightly as he tried to wipe a tiny tear streaming down my face. I slapped his hand and he flinched. I wasn’t calm at all and they’ve already watched my tears streamed from my face too much, so I cleaned my face quickly.

“Why won’t you go and fuck yourself...”, I firmly said watching his eyes. Yeosang retained his breath and gulped at my serious statement. 

After that,I walked away bumping into Seonghwa’s shoulder and entered the bathroom. I opened the shower so the noise of the running water would cover the talk outside. I felt my body drained with tiredness by the uptight situation, all I wanted was to take care of them the way they always did with me but  _ why was it so difficult?  _ I sat on the cold floor resting my back on the wall next to the sink and let my mind travel with anything but Yeosang’s words.  _ What would Haerin do…? Would we be in this situation if she was still alive? No… she was too smart, she could help us with this… I only seem strong but after 400 days of this mess, I can only be torn apart by the words of a friend…  _ Yeosang was right, I was being a selfish bitch worrying about only surviving and not noticing the way people felt around. I always thought that keeping our feelings to us made us stronger, made us brave and unstoppable. I was wrong once again…  __

I felt left alone, the voices in my head became louder and louder touching my nerves. _ Why did all my decisions end up so bad? Was I really that bad? How would the boys feel? How would Seonghwa feel?  _ I never asked him how affected he was, I only knew he felt kind of anxious so far. The pressure that was on my shoulders became heavier with every step I took and I couldn’t handle it anymore. I was totally unaware of my own feelings too… My main focus was Wonderland, was keeping everyone safe but  _ at what cost?  _ I was the last person to know about Jongho and Misuk, she had to die for me to realize it.  _ This is so messed up. _

My sobs became stronger even if I wanted to stifle the noise with the water coming out of the shower. I felt pathetic, crying didn't change anything, my tears didn't bring Misuk back, or Lucas, or Haerin, or my family ... That's another reason why I didn't like to cry, it was useless. Eventually, I would realize that I was damaging my interpersonal relationships because of my shield, that shield that tried to protect me from people who could use my vulnerability as a lethal weapon. However, I never realized that none of them would do such atrocity, except in such an extremist situation.

Two knocks on the door startled me and I turned off the shower. 

“Jiyeong?”, San’s voice came through the other side slightly. I didn’t answer. 

“Jiyeong, please, open up…”, I rested my forehead on the other side of the door and took a deep breath. 

“What do you want?”, I managed to say without a broken tone, despite the tears rolling through my face uncontrollably. 

“Can I come in?”, he asked, pulling at the locked knob. My hand followed it and grabbed it strongly. 

“Can’t you use the other bathroom?”, I whispered, now a little bit quieter. 

“I don’t want to use it, I want to see you…”, he mumbled. A minute later he said louder, “shit, just open up, Ji…”, his voice transformed from gentler to an exasperated one. Before I could think, my body reacted first and unlocked the door. San entered the bathroom closing the door behind him and locking it again. I took a few steps back and sat again on the floor. San watched me do my thing and got himself comfortable by my side.

“Sorry about that…”, his hands played with the shoelaces while his eyes roamed the bathroom walls, he seemed nervous somehow. 

“What are you apologizing for…?”, I frowned and tilted my head to the side. His eyes met mine for a second.

“When Yeosang talked about you like that, I couldn’t say anything to defend you because-”

“Because you know it’s true…”, I finished his sentence as he left out a groan.

“I only agreed with the part of you being selfish, unaware of how people feel towards this whole end-of-the-world situation…”, his eyes met the walls again as I continued scanning his features. 

“ _ I’m _ the one who feels sorry about everything…”, I whispered too caught up in his cheekbones.  _ Did they always look that prominent? He has dark eye bags… Why does he look so tired and skinny but at the same time so full of shine and fit?  _ I didn’t know anything about what was going on inside his mind, I never asked him how he felt or how his day was recollecting supplies. Guilt pressed my chest one more time as I understand I was a really bad person for not caring about the others around me. I blinked my watery eyes rapidly and San looked at the gesture with a sad smile. 

“Don’t be afraid to cry, Jiyeong…”, his voice always sounded so good when he had that look on his face when he looked like he cared. 

“It doesn’t help with anything…”, I sniffed and turned my sight apart from his. He giggled and something inside me sparkled vaguely, like a soft tickle or a finger pressed into my stomach momentarily. 

“It actually works in a cathartic way, you know? It liberates you from sadness sometimes…”,  _ why does he keep looking at me like that? What’s with that soft smile…?  _ Saying I was confused would be an understatement, but San was a character that I couldn’t comprehend too much. He could be a very easy-going man which you can open up your heart to and he’ll listen to every preoccupation you had. And sometimes he could be the Devil expecting you to die and join him in hell just to make you suffer… or maybe I was exaggerating things. Likewise, he could be gentle and a great friend, also an asshole when he wanted to act narcissist.

We remained silent for like an hour (it was actually thirty seconds), and he spoke again. 

“Yeosang is just upset, you know… after watching you with Hwa the other night and now with Hongjoong…”

“What do you mean?”, my voice came out as a whisper and San moved closer, his shoulder bumped into mine, his warm skin felt slightly pleasant against mine. 

“Well, me too but… Yeosang is jealous”, I couldn’t find the meaning of the first phrase, yet my eyebrows knitted.

“He’s a dick, that’s what he is”, I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest. San chuckled, his eyes disappearing in crescent moons. 

“Yeah, that too”, he agreed. 

“Why is he, tho…jealous I mean ”, I asked, still intrigued about it. The black-haired boy licked his lips and started. 

“Before everything happened, before the meteor and the monsters showed up before silence covered the Earth and we were obligated to remain silent, Yeosang was dating someone…”, my eyes widened with the news, I would've never thought about that by myself. “Remember when he was talking with someone over the phone one of the nights at the church and he started to breathe like if he was having asthma?”, I nodded. “Well, he heard them dying on the other side of the line…” 

“W-what…”, a gasp escaped my mouth in surprise.  _ How would he...-? _

“Yeosang’s upset because he knows you have opportunities but won’t give it a chance…”, San’s eyes rested on mine for a second, then he broke the gaze making me yearn for his orbs to see me again. “He would do anything to see his significant other alive, Jiyeong, and he’s mad at your oblivious ass…”, he finished resting the back of his head on the bathroom wall with eyes closed. Even though he seemed exhausted, he looked like a whole piece of art that I would love to paint someday…  _ Oh… what should I respond to that…? _

“I… I don’t know what you mean, tho. I don’t see opportunities, I only think about one thing and-”

“Yeah, we knew… keeping us alive”, he laughed dryly and left out a deep sight. For a few minutes, we sat there without a word. On the other side of the door Hongjoong and Yeosang’s voices echoed faintly, nonetheless I was focusing on San’s breathing next to me. He sounded calm, almost asleep and it brought a little peace in my disturbed mind. If I wanted to express more, I needed to talk more about what I thought and San was there on the bathroom floor, willing to wait for me to feel better, maybe it was the right time for just a start…

“I-...”

Three knots on the bathroom door made us jerked up and the soft voice of Seonghwa calmed my heart. 

“San, is she okay?”, the older asked with a concerned tone, almost like a whisper. San stood up on his feet and gave me a hand to do the same. “Can you guys get out? We need to rest, tomorrow is the big day”. I quickly washed my face in the sink and San was about to open the door when he questioned:

“What were you gonna say?”

“Honestly, I don’t think I remember”, a soft chuckled resonated in the place. He nodded, not very sure if it was true and opened the door for Seonghwa. The black-haired man had an anxious look on his face and he waited for San to go out of the bathroom to wrap me instead of in his arms. 

“Jiyeong…”

“Let’s not talk about it”, I immediately said, getting as far as I could of him. “We need to rest and go find our boys, Seonghwa, we’ll talk when we get them…”, he remained thereafter I entered my room with the door locked. Tomorrow was the beginning of our journey to  _ Wonderland, _ the nerves were already up in everyone’s body after the heated argument we caused and we needed to avoid the negativity once again. The only thing in my mind was San, Mingi and Jongho. I don’t remember being worried about the three of them, but somehow San slipped through my mind even if I didn’t want him there.

(...)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if you already understand what will happen next (by intuition idk lol), but everything's turning out opposite of what Jiyeong thought (dramaaa). 
> 
> This note is to clarify that the main plot was always meant to be about how to survive in A Quiet Place universe, and then, the pairing will be included.  
> That's all owo, BYE.


End file.
